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Posts Tagged ‘ waitress ’

In The Weeds: My First Kiss Went a Little Like This

July 27, 2010
In The Weeds: My First Kiss Went a Little Like This

I grew up in Wichita, Kansas, where not many exciting things happen. When something does happen, it’s usually some unfathomable tragedy that gets replayed for years on National Geographic or Court TV. Things like this. And this. So when I say that the story I’m going to tell you today is the story of...
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In The Weeds: Encyclopedia of a Waitress

July 13, 2010

In late 2005 or maybe early 2006, I read “Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life” by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.  Still one of my favorite books of all times, it smacked me between the eyes with its simplicity and brilliance.  Considering that my hardest hitting news source is US Weekly magazine, that’s not too hard to...
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In The Weeds: Who You Calling Addict, A-hole?

July 6, 2010
In The Weeds: Who You Calling Addict, A-hole?

While sipping my morning coffee last week and minding my own business, Tom Brokaw essentially reached through the television screen and bitch slapped me.  Old man marble mouth took a break from retirement to blame me (and you) for the BP oil spill.  I know.  I, too, was like “Tuh huh?” It all started...
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Posted in Charity "CJ", In the weeds | 6 Comments »

In The Weeds: Stuck on Band-Aid Brand

June 15, 2010
In The Weeds: Stuck on Band-Aid Brand

This week I want to share a solid gross-out story that was submitted to me by a friend who is currently waiting tables in California. It started as a simple text that I received on Sunday: “Had a guest find a Band-Aid in his food last night. He put it in his mouth. Call...
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Posted in Charity "CJ", In the weeds | 4 Comments »

In The Weeds: The Battle For My Soul Makes Me Hungry

June 8, 2010
In The Weeds: The Battle For My Soul Makes Me Hungry

A few hours ago, I had a procedure to remove a confirmed patch of melanoma from my skin. And despite my best efforts with 50 SPF this past weekend, I was possibly the first person in America to actually show up for skin cancer surgery sporting a sunburn. This whole cancer saga started several...
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In The Weeds: Mormons Got It Going On

May 10, 2010
In The Weeds: Mormons Got It Going On

Yes, I risk pissing off an entire religion today with my observations, but before that happens, let me just say for the record that I know the Mormon church officially denounced polygamy more than a hundred years ago and that the Fundamentalist sect is the only branch that “officially” recognizes and embraces polygamy.  But,...
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Posted in Charity "CJ", In the weeds | 4 Comments »

In The Weeds: Five Ways That Having Kids Ruins Everything

April 27, 2010
In The Weeds: Five Ways That Having Kids Ruins Everything

So you think waiting on kids sucks?  Try having one.  Or more. Full time. If you looked at today’s headline and got all huffy and judgmental, then you either 1) don’t have kids or 2) have kids over the age of ten and have kid-induced amnesia or 3) have convinced yourself that kids are...
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Posted in Charity "CJ", In the weeds | 10 Comments »

In The Weeds: I Heart Gay Waiters

April 20, 2010
In The Weeds: I Heart Gay Waiters

This weekend, Kansas City enjoyed two of its 11 annual days of perfect weather. It couldn’t have come with better timing because we convinced my dad to forgo golf and Dallas temperatures to fly to KC and celebrate his 60th birthday with his wife, my sister, her husband, me, my husband and our combined...
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Posted in Charity "CJ", In the weeds | 14 Comments »

In The Weeds: Mistresses and Complainers – Equally Sucky

April 13, 2010
In The Weeds: Mistresses and Complainers – Equally Sucky

Glory be to the golf gods and Phil Mickelson’s crazy looking left-handed swing for sparing us from a Tiger Woods Masters victory.  We got to see a stand-up guy embrace his wife with tears of gratitude, and there was nary a mention of Tiger from the commentators after Phil’s win. Way to stay classy,...
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Posted in Charity "CJ", In the weeds, Pop culture | 9 Comments »

In The Weeds: Hover Craft

April 6, 2010
In The Weeds: Hover Craft

Ladies, there are few things in which I’d consider myself an expert.  They are, in fact, two. 1) Getting out of speeding tickets and 2) Hovering while pissing Given the much higher volume of public restroom peeing vs. cop encounters in average life, I will share my secrets on #2 with you today (well…technically speaking,...
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Posted in Charity "CJ", In the weeds | 8 Comments »

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