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Posts Tagged ‘ In the weeds ’

In The Weeds: Hotel Concierge…Like a Server, Only Awesomer

September 14, 2010
In The Weeds: Hotel Concierge…Like a Server, Only Awesomer

For the second time in three weeks, I’ve been summoned to the school for a parent/teacher conference regarding my oldest son.  The good son.  The easy son.  The son who thanks me for putting on his seat belt.  The son who sits quietly at a restaurant table for hours.   The son who only...
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Bachelor Pad Recap: Revolving Door of Hot Chicks (and one old mom)

August 9, 2010
Bachelor Pad Recap: Revolving Door of Hot Chicks (and one old mom)

Author’s Note: I’m taking a break from writing about restaurants and the life of servers to write about something even more salacious and slimy – ABC’s new series, Bachelor Pad.  For the next several weeks, I hope you enjoy reading about overly dramatic, sex-crazed cry babies and the things they do for money.  Hey,...
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In The Weeds: A Phone With a Phoney Name

August 3, 2010
In The Weeds: A Phone With a Phoney Name

OMG.  WTF?  So not LOL.  I am typing this week’s column on my smart phone because my husband’s new Willy Loman lifestyle took him to some busted up Best Western for a week of sales calls, and he took the family laptop with him.  He claimed an urgent need for connectivity in order to do...
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In The Weeds: My First Kiss Went a Little Like This

July 27, 2010
In The Weeds: My First Kiss Went a Little Like This

I grew up in Wichita, Kansas, where not many exciting things happen. When something does happen, it’s usually some unfathomable tragedy that gets replayed for years on National Geographic or Court TV. Things like this. And this. So when I say that the story I’m going to tell you today is the story of...
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In The Weeds: Encyclopedia of a Waitress

July 13, 2010

In late 2005 or maybe early 2006, I read “Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life” by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.  Still one of my favorite books of all times, it smacked me between the eyes with its simplicity and brilliance.  Considering that my hardest hitting news source is US Weekly magazine, that’s not too hard to...
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In The Weeds: Who You Calling Addict, A-hole?

July 6, 2010
In The Weeds: Who You Calling Addict, A-hole?

While sipping my morning coffee last week and minding my own business, Tom Brokaw essentially reached through the television screen and bitch slapped me.  Old man marble mouth took a break from retirement to blame me (and you) for the BP oil spill.  I know.  I, too, was like “Tuh huh?” It all started...
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In The Weeds: Stuck on Band-Aid Brand

June 15, 2010
In The Weeds: Stuck on Band-Aid Brand

This week I want to share a solid gross-out story that was submitted to me by a friend who is currently waiting tables in California. It started as a simple text that I received on Sunday: “Had a guest find a Band-Aid in his food last night. He put it in his mouth. Call...
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In The Weeds: The Battle For My Soul Makes Me Hungry

June 8, 2010
In The Weeds: The Battle For My Soul Makes Me Hungry

A few hours ago, I had a procedure to remove a confirmed patch of melanoma from my skin. And despite my best efforts with 50 SPF this past weekend, I was possibly the first person in America to actually show up for skin cancer surgery sporting a sunburn. This whole cancer saga started several...
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In The Weeds: The Nanny Diaries

May 25, 2010
In The Weeds: The Nanny Diaries

Next week will mark the one-year anniversary of my firing from The Capital Grille for writing this blog. Considering I haven’t held out my hand while someone gifts me with their gum in a cocktail napkin, apologized to a guest for not being able to produce carrot cake for dessert when it’s never been...
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In The Weeds: Sex, Drugs and Mini Vans. A retrospective.

May 18, 2010
In The Weeds: Sex, Drugs and Mini Vans. A retrospective.

I won’t get into the details of who/what/why/where, but suffice to say that a very convincing pusher recently came into my life and offered me a drug I had never tried.  For free.  Always up for a good high and especially a free one, I folded like a hinge and agreed to give it...
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