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Mr. Smarty Pants

Everything Old is New Again: How Donald & Gene got their Groove Back

January 27, 2011
Everything Old is New Again: How Donald & Gene got their Groove Back

Donald O’Connor (L) & Gene Kelly (R) are The Bomb in the new Jetta First time I saw this commercial I liked & disliked it in equal measures, at the same time, in blatant defiance of the principle of contradiction (“contradictory statements cannot both at the same time be true”).   I liked it mainly...
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Posted in Mr. Smarty Pants, Pop culture, Television | 6 Comments »

Third Stone from Too Sexy

January 26, 2011

While I’m thinking about it, here’s an idea I’ve been wanting to share with YOU for the past 20 years. Remember that ridiculously awesome song of kick-ass-awesomeness, “I’m too Sexy”, by Right Said Fred? Of course you do. Pay careful attention to the bridge starting at 1:13, and listen to about the 1:26 mark....
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Important Notice Concerning the Usage of “Awesome” as a Noun

January 24, 2011

Definition of AWESOME awe·some adj \ˈȯ-səm\ 1 : expressive of awe <awesome tribute> 2 a: inspiring awe <an awesome task> b: terrific, extraordinary <had an awesome time> This just in: Until further notice, any usage of the word awesome as a noun has been suspended, effectively placing a moratorium on said activity.
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5 More Single-Malts Worth Trying

January 18, 2011
5 More Single-Malts Worth Trying

Liquor-snobs beware! Every sum’bitch that has a negative comment about the single-malts referenced in this installment of “More reasons Scotch is cooler than Wine” can kiss my ass.  All you guys (and without any research whatsoever, I can predict with a 98.76% degree of accuracy that if you’re a liquor snob, you’re also a...
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Posted in Food/Beverage/Recipes, Mr. Smarty Pants | 5 Comments »

7-Steps to Finding a Job

January 14, 2011
7-Steps to Finding a Job

“Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.” ~ Oscar Wilde On Tuesday morning, July 20th, I woke up and went to work just as I’d done for nearly 7 years, only to find that my company had “downsized”, and I wasn’t to be a part of the new, slimmer company.  I...
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One Easy Piece: The Cheesiest Magazine Ad Ever

January 12, 2011
One Easy Piece: The Cheesiest Magazine Ad Ever

Truth, as they say, is stranger than fiction.  Funnier too.  Here, without any changes to its original content, is the cheesiest ad of all time.  How many instances of “innuendo” can you find? One.Easy.Piece Because one is enough, when it’s you.  Show where you’re headed in the ultimate fashion climax.  Fits so tight it...
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Posted in Humor, Mr. Smarty Pants, Pop culture | 2 Comments »

David Foster Wallace

September 12, 2010
David Foster Wallace

“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.” – Seneca (5 BC – 65 AD), Epistles I remember the exact moment when I first heard that David Foster Wallace (DFW or “Wallace” henceforth) had died. I remember it not because I knew who he was, but because it’s just one of those...
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5 Things to Do If You Lose Your Job

August 23, 2010
5 Things to Do If You Lose Your Job

Plus two things to do if you don’t. Let’s go about this in reverse order.  Here are two things you absolutely must do if you are currently employed.  First, if you have a job, I recommend you do everything you can to keep it.  The job market is flooded with talented people looking for...
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Posted in Mr. Smarty Pants, Pop culture | 6 Comments »

First Friday w/ Allison Carenza

August 4, 2010
First Friday w/ Allison Carenza

Fact: I’d never heard of “First Friday’s” prior to last Friday.  I just felt we should get that out of the way. Folks, if you live in/near the Kansas City area and aren’t sure what you’d like to do this Friday (8/6/2010)*, may I offer as a suggestion attending “An Evening of Art”, from...
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Happy Birthday, Back in Black!

July 25, 2010
Happy Birthday, Back in Black!

No one could have guessed the cause/effect relationship set into motion on a cold February morning in 1980.  AC/DC’s front-man Bon Scott, just 33 years old and fresh off the success of their “Highway to Hell” album (which reached the top-20 in the U.S.), died, as legendary rock-stars seem prone to do, from excessive...
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