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In the weeds

CJ’s column about the restaurant business

In The Weeds: Encyclopedia of a Waitress

July 13, 2010

In late 2005 or maybe early 2006, I read “Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life” by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.  Still one of my favorite books of all times, it smacked me between the eyes with its simplicity and brilliance.  Considering that my hardest hitting news source is US Weekly magazine, that’s not too hard to...
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In The Weeds: Who You Calling Addict, A-hole?

July 6, 2010
In The Weeds: Who You Calling Addict, A-hole?

While sipping my morning coffee last week and minding my own business, Tom Brokaw essentially reached through the television screen and bitch slapped me.  Old man marble mouth took a break from retirement to blame me (and you) for the BP oil spill.  I know.  I, too, was like “Tuh huh?” It all started...
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In The Weeds: Your Copay Amount is 20 Percent

June 22, 2010

This month marks a year since I was fired from The Capital Grille for writing this blog.   I spent the last six months of 2009 kinda flailing around trying to figure out my next move, including a very short stint as a very sucky bartender.  In January, I finally decided to re-enter the “normal”...
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In The Weeds: Stuck on Band-Aid Brand

June 15, 2010
In The Weeds: Stuck on Band-Aid Brand

This week I want to share a solid gross-out story that was submitted to me by a friend who is currently waiting tables in California. It started as a simple text that I received on Sunday: “Had a guest find a Band-Aid in his food last night. He put it in his mouth. Call...
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In The Weeds: The Battle For My Soul Makes Me Hungry

June 8, 2010
In The Weeds: The Battle For My Soul Makes Me Hungry

A few hours ago, I had a procedure to remove a confirmed patch of melanoma from my skin. And despite my best efforts with 50 SPF this past weekend, I was possibly the first person in America to actually show up for skin cancer surgery sporting a sunburn. This whole cancer saga started several...
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In The Weeds: The Nanny Diaries

May 25, 2010
In The Weeds: The Nanny Diaries

Next week will mark the one-year anniversary of my firing from The Capital Grille for writing this blog. Considering I haven’t held out my hand while someone gifts me with their gum in a cocktail napkin, apologized to a guest for not being able to produce carrot cake for dessert when it’s never been...
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Eye Candy: The Glamourai

May 21, 2010
Eye Candy: The Glamourai

I have to hand it to Lucky magazine for introducing me to Kelly Framel’s addictive, wonderful blog – The Glamourai.com.  Upon first sight, my pants were charmed off – and then I immediately wished that I was wearing more attractive pants.  Or a kicky dress.  I have spent an astonishing amount of time coveting the pretties on her site and...
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In The Weeds: Sex, Drugs and Mini Vans. A retrospective.

May 18, 2010
In The Weeds: Sex, Drugs and Mini Vans. A retrospective.

I won’t get into the details of who/what/why/where, but suffice to say that a very convincing pusher recently came into my life and offered me a drug I had never tried.  For free.  Always up for a good high and especially a free one, I folded like a hinge and agreed to give it...
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In The Weeds: Mormons Got It Going On

May 10, 2010
In The Weeds: Mormons Got It Going On

Yes, I risk pissing off an entire religion today with my observations, but before that happens, let me just say for the record that I know the Mormon church officially denounced polygamy more than a hundred years ago and that the Fundamentalist sect is the only branch that “officially” recognizes and embraces polygamy.  But,...
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In The Weeds: Five Ways That Having Kids Ruins Everything

April 27, 2010
In The Weeds: Five Ways That Having Kids Ruins Everything

So you think waiting on kids sucks?  Try having one.  Or more. Full time. If you looked at today’s headline and got all huffy and judgmental, then you either 1) don’t have kids or 2) have kids over the age of ten and have kid-induced amnesia or 3) have convinced yourself that kids are...
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