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Charity “CJ”

In The Weeds: Sex, Drugs and Mini Vans. A retrospective.

May 18, 2010
In The Weeds: Sex, Drugs and Mini Vans. A retrospective.

I won’t get into the details of who/what/why/where, but suffice to say that a very convincing pusher recently came into my life and offered me a drug I had never tried.  For free.  Always up for a good high and especially a free one, I folded like a hinge and agreed to give it...
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In The Weeds: Mormons Got It Going On

May 10, 2010
In The Weeds: Mormons Got It Going On

Yes, I risk pissing off an entire religion today with my observations, but before that happens, let me just say for the record that I know the Mormon church officially denounced polygamy more than a hundred years ago and that the Fundamentalist sect is the only branch that “officially” recognizes and embraces polygamy.  But,...
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In The Weeds: Five Ways That Having Kids Ruins Everything

April 27, 2010
In The Weeds: Five Ways That Having Kids Ruins Everything

So you think waiting on kids sucks?  Try having one.  Or more. Full time. If you looked at today’s headline and got all huffy and judgmental, then you either 1) don’t have kids or 2) have kids over the age of ten and have kid-induced amnesia or 3) have convinced yourself that kids are...
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In The Weeds: I Heart Gay Waiters

April 20, 2010
In The Weeds: I Heart Gay Waiters

This weekend, Kansas City enjoyed two of its 11 annual days of perfect weather. It couldn’t have come with better timing because we convinced my dad to forgo golf and Dallas temperatures to fly to KC and celebrate his 60th birthday with his wife, my sister, her husband, me, my husband and our combined...
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In The Weeds: Mistresses and Complainers – Equally Sucky

April 13, 2010
In The Weeds: Mistresses and Complainers – Equally Sucky

Glory be to the golf gods and Phil Mickelson’s crazy looking left-handed swing for sparing us from a Tiger Woods Masters victory.  We got to see a stand-up guy embrace his wife with tears of gratitude, and there was nary a mention of Tiger from the commentators after Phil’s win. Way to stay classy,...
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In The Weeds: Hover Craft

April 6, 2010
In The Weeds: Hover Craft

Ladies, there are few things in which I’d consider myself an expert.  They are, in fact, two. 1) Getting out of speeding tickets and 2) Hovering while pissing Given the much higher volume of public restroom peeing vs. cop encounters in average life, I will share my secrets on #2 with you today (well…technically speaking,...
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In The Weeds: Top 5 Nightmare Celebrity Restaurant Guests

March 30, 2010
In The Weeds: Top 5 Nightmare Celebrity Restaurant Guests

Every other week or so, a story comes out about a celebrity and his or her bad behavior in a restaurant. Being a pathetic celebrity gossip monger and a long-time server, I seek these stories out like a fat girl scrounging for stray fries under the car seat. They mostly involve how terribly the...
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In The Weeds: Chef’s Special – Freebirds

March 23, 2010
In The Weeds: Chef’s Special – Freebirds

It’s official.  My husband and I are no longer in the restaurant industry.  I’ve been out for several months now, but most of you loyal readers know that my husband has provided for our family by kicking his own ass for 12 hours a day for the last six years as the hardest working...
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In The Weeds: Refire

March 16, 2010
In The Weeds: Refire

This is a “refire” column that had its first run in August 2009.  I don’t have any excuses (except that I have a full-time job, two kids under 5, and a new Netflix account.   And last week’s column was super duper long).  Enjoy…again. Guys, we need to talk.  No, not all of you…just you...
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In The Weeds: The Pig Farmer and The Regional Director

March 9, 2010
In The Weeds: The Pig Farmer and The Regional Director

Integrity and fairness. It all starts with integrity. We trust in the integrity and fairness of each other to always do the right thing, to be open, honest and forthright with ourselves and others, to demonstrate courage, to solve without blame and to follow through on all our commitments. Respect and caring. We reach...
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