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Two Tears in a Bucket-Mother Fuck It

February 16, 2011
Two Tears in a Bucket-Mother Fuck It

Out of boredom and a general frustration I decided to drink a bottle of wine and organize my bookcase-because I am not a loser in any sense of the word.  I stumbled upon my collection of old journals and honest to god, it was an entry from the same day eleven years ago when...
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Posted in Humor | 1 Comment »

Carbo-Loafing With ‘Say Yes To The Dress’

December 3, 2010
Carbo-Loafing With ‘Say Yes To The Dress’

After the turkey has been eaten and the Black Friday casualty list has come out-it is time to hole the fuck up in your house and stay in until 2011. Luckily, tis’ the season for an activity I like to call “Carbo-Loafing”.  It involves mindlessly stuffing lots of starchy, cheesy, sugary, buttery food into...
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Posted in Guilty Pleasures, Humor, Pop culture, Television | 3 Comments »

Continuing Education

November 23, 2010
Continuing Education

I finally received my college diploma in the mail after months of unreturned library book drama. I knew I returned those fucking books.  I took it out and beamed- my name is so beautiful written in that font! I did it I really did it! And the golden moment was over.  Never felt again....
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Posted in Humor | 2 Comments »

Dear Food Network: A Word?

November 3, 2010
Dear Food Network: A Word?

While I have been a fan of the Food Network since my first viewing of “Emeril Live!” (Yes, I participated all of that “BAM” nonsense), it has recently been tedious to watch. I have some great tips for improving the channel, so I hope the execs are reading this. Ina Garten of “Barefoot Contessa”...
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Posted in Food/Beverage/Recipes, Humor, Pop culture, Television | 4 Comments »

Mistakes Were Made: Halloween

October 29, 2010

In the late evening of Halloween eve, I announced to my Pops that I didn’t have a costume and needed one STAT. Dad started in on all this jibber jabber about why I hadn’t told him sooner…blah blah blah. I was in second grade and that noise wasn’t important. Needless to say, he was pissed.  With...
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Posted in Humor | 1 Comment »

Bless This Mess

October 20, 2010
Bless This Mess

When you walk into my apartment- a few things are obvious. I think area rugs are meant to be spilled on/ashed on (happens). I have fabulous style hidden by giant piles of crap. I live with myself, so I don’t mind any of my lazy tendencies or juvenile eating habits. When the house key...
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Posted in Humor | 4 Comments »

Driving Miss McCauley

October 7, 2010
Driving Miss McCauley

Every time-I mean every time I get on the Greyhound out of Kansas City I cannot help but question where the bus is “really going”-as if the four people I asked at the station previously had been lying to me all along.  “Yes, this is the Springfield bus ma’am,” (Ma’am? Is that just because...
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Posted in Humor | 5 Comments »

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