Planning is Pigs
My three week hiatus, from Frothygirlz, has been filled with (exhaustingly) charming activities…which I shall now list:
- Rescuing/acquiring a kitten. (Because I simply didn’t have enough to fill my days with in planning my own wedding.)
- Separating and helping to maintain said kitten’s life from our adult cat. (Adult cat is superbly bitchy and could actually be a great help in wedding planning should she turn human.)
- Rereading, navigating, and sometimes disagreeing with Emily Post’s rules of etiquette regarding wedding planning.
- Casting evil MacBeth-like spells over the parents who gave their children whistles to blow FOR THREE HOURS A DAY when biking around our neighborhood.
- Watching over a neighbor’s home, while he is on holiday, and adopting sleuthing skillz in order to analyze the seemingly drug-related cartel who frequent his home during the mornings.
- Remembering rehearsal place cards, reception dinner requests, assisting in organizing Boy Wonder’s bachelor party, feeling like I’ve gained about three million pounds from stress, and fielding calls of, ‘Your wedding dress may or may not be ready by the time you need to drive from Oregon to Michigan’. (MI is our destination/wedding site/’may or may not be ready by the time I need to drive there’ place.)
- Trying to organize whatever I can because I am too much of a chicken to ask for help.
- Agreeing to help set up a website for a company I work for in order to publish photographs from various sources.
Yes, my three weeks sans Frothy look like they should have been busy, but I’m stellar at wedding & work procrastinating as well as finding clever antidotes to dissuade unwanted cat & kitten confrontation.
- The kitten, much to my amusement, spends a lot of time bugging the adult cat.
- Rather than letting kitten spend all of her time bugging/chasing adult cat about the floor, kitten has been encouraged to wander back and fourth on a counter because she can’t figure out how to get down. (Thus saving me intervention time between the cats and leaving a couple patches of my skin unblemished by animal scratches and bites.)
- While I adore Emily Post, I feel as though I hit a wall after addressing every single one of my wedding invitations. I will never do this again…and, if I do, I will hire someone to do it for me.
- The whistling children I plan to de-tongue in their sleep.
- Creeped out by curious neighbor behavior. Nuff said.
- Communication via wedding dress creators is ‘sketchy’ at best. I am thinking about introducing whistling/biking children to non-communicative dress designers and letting everyone duke it out.
- Baaaawk, baaaawk, baaawk, baaaaaaaaaaawk!
- I. Am. Stupid.
Fortunately, during this past month of planning, I have been reminded of a splendid Disney cartoon which trumps any sort of dramatic pile-up I may be experiencing. I am including the cartoon here, along with refilling my wine glass, as a comic reward (relief) for sitting through my grumblings. Ladies and Germs, may there never be a situation so overwhelming to you as ‘Pigs is Pigs’.