Wedding Gift Registry Made Wrong
Today, for one day only, Boy Wonder and I are going to undertake the total task of registering for our wedding. Personally, I would rather scramble an egg on my face and into my ear than go shopping. I’m pretty sure Boy Wonder feels similar, with the exception that he actually likes eggs.
Fortunately, the two of us really like to play together with kitchen tools and were able to come up with a couple eclectic foodie stores. I served up Whitey’s version of a kitchen registry and BW weighed in with THE LARGEST JAPANESE GROCERY STORE AROUND PORTLAND. Both fortuitous choices as he will become half Caucasian and I will be turning Japanese in a little under three months.
Of course, all this kitchen talk aided me in wondering, ‘What makes for the worst wedding gifts?’ There has to be one or two or eighteen gifts that are just really bad ideas, right? Righty-o!
1. Baby clothes. Premature? Oh, slightly.
2.Car Gadgets. Because there are already so many alert drivers on the road, let’s give them toys!
3.Flatulence-Absorbing Blanket (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM4eJ38S7Hw). Yes. Someone did.
4.Almost Anything That Ever Came Out of Spencer’s Gifts.
5.Divorce Papers. HILARIOUS!
6.Anything to do with Rachel Ray. So what if it’s because I can’t stand her, it’s MY article.
7.Condoms. Given to a couple who had a Son before they were wed.
8.3D Picture of Horses. Naaaaaaaaaaay.
9.Why Men Marry Bitches. It’s a book (http://www.whymenmarrybitches.com/). No, really.
10.Self Help Books. Once, a Girl Scout came to my door selling those cookies. After I filled out the form, her Mother passed me a coupon for $5 off at a hair salon and told me I needed to ‘get there soon’. Self Help books as wedding gifts remind me of Girl Scout salons.