Mind Your Matter
I am not a huge fan of dieting. Realistically, I’m not even a mediocre fan of dieting. And, having thickly said that, I’ll thinly say this, ‘dieting for your wedding, and only your wedding, is more than a little ludicrous’.
Recently, my pal, Marky, sent me to a website (http://www.slate.com/id/2296988/pagenum/all/#p2) featuring one bride’s story in obtaining ‘the perfect wedding body’. She, and I imagine every other human on the planet, discovered that one can drop ‘wedding weight’, via diet & exercise. (Well, no kidding, Casper.) What the article didn’t cover was the supreme possibility that this bride most likely dropped her diet & exercise programme after the actual wedding ceremony.
This ridiculous Diet-During-Your-Engagment plan is becoming popular to the point of being poppycock. I’ve witnessed brides ingesting copious amounts of colourful diet pills, extreme exercise sessions, giving up all vices, and even becoming vegan (because, obviously, veganism should first be promoted as a wedding diet rather than saving our little animal, dairy, and root friends). If you’re going to plan a diet & exercise programme, do it for reasons involving your health, mental state, complexion, and bouncy-bounce ability. And (!), stop writing articles about it because they’re all the same, read ‘boring’. (How do you like the irony in them apples, eh?)
For those wedding bound brides and grooms who truly believe there is a magical diet pill, I have some cash saving advice. Pop a caffeine pill and set out for a walk, run, horse race, kayak expedition, brewski tipping, rip-roaring swell time. Green tea is not the fat burner you think it to be and while water pills may relieve some water, you also have to move to instigate their efforts. Trust me, I’ve dieted myself through various states and weights plenty o’ times.
The rest of you wedding dieting lot should really quit with the Starvation=Salvation programme. Just like Jenny Craig, ya’ll need food to function. I swear, there is a way to pass off extra poundage. Surrender the excuses, stifle the grumbly-grumblesons, reread the previous paragraph, and find whatever fitness trail you’re into. It ain’t hard. It really ain’t.
I suppose what IS hard is keeping up a diet & exercise regimen once you’re hitched. Fortunately, once a couple is married, there’s a whole other world of exercise open to them, right? My inclination would be to hit up that tasty trail. Yum!
TAGS: Dieting, Wedding Weight loss, Veganism, Green Tea Tablets, Jenny Craig