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Notes From A Walkman Junkie: Write, You Whore

May 19, 2011
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Originally, I was going to call this post “Leggo My Ego” until I realized that there was already a Dead Milkmen song by the same name.  Not to mention, I have been slacking in the writing department like a motherfucker (who does not write things) as of late, so this new title seemed slightly more fitting.

We all have our own personal ways of coping with less than favorable emotions and situations:  exercise,  therapy,  weeping,  kicking,  drinking,  crawling,  smoking,  pleading,  napping,  denying,  hiding,  developing an alter ego in the form of a small, angry, stuffed gorilla called Anna, etc.

Over the years, I have dabbled in all of those methods and sometimes several of them all at once, but none have been as effective (and hard on my throat;  I had to do a weird, rough and scratchy voice for my other half– like a normal person) as my soft and pissed alter ego gorilla, Anna.

Before you picture me roaming the streets, mumbling incoherently, clutching a stuffed and disheveled primate, allow me to explain.  It has been years since I have done that (However, I did recently learn of a rumored distant relative who brought along a stuffed monkey with him as his guest to many social gatherings–mostly weddings–throughout his entire adult life).

I received Anna as a Christmas present when I was six years old;  she was a furry, scrunchy-faced gorilla, wearing a white and lacy, delicate dress, which seemed odd.   And perfect.   This may come as no surprise to anyone who knows me personally, but I was a relatively quiet child (to the extent that elaborate meetings–with pie charts–were held between my parents and teachers specifically to discuss the likely reasons for my undeniable muteness ranging from perhaps not being able to hear very well to a possible brain tumor;  I am not much of a talker).

Then at last, this x-mas gift, this magnificent stuffed gorilla changed all of that for me (at least in the privacy of my own home).  I created a “Take no shit say whatever the hell I want maybe even lay down a few tracks for an album of Air Supply cover songs if I so choose” persona for Anna and a suitable husky voice to match.

So, for a couple of years in my youth, I was able to (loudly, angrily and hairily) voice my opinions through my abrasive gorilla ventriloquist act to my family or a captivated collective group of my plush toys whenever necessary.  I did eventually find the need to part ways with my fuzzy and furious alter ego (mainly to increase the possibility of ever dating a person), but my ninja-like silent nature has remained, sometimes at extremely awkward levels.

Once I was left behind at a gas station in the middle of nowhere  by my three traveling companions because my quiet absence was equal to my also (if not more) quiet presence.  And another time, on a camping trip throughout various parts of Europe (where we ended up aimlessly wandering the streets of Monte Carlo at some point, but could not go inside anywhere because my knees were dirty), I caused one of my Italian travel pals to actually jump at the sound of my never before heard voice with a meek, “Dove Andiamo?”

Lately, I have seriously considered reviving my brazen friend full of fur, Anna in the hopes of cutting down on my increasingly frequent kick naps and fight sleep–plus I have a wedding to attend soon.

I am attaching “Leggo My Ego” by The Dead Milkmen.  Of course I am.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jApZRj3d2Ss

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8 Responses to “ Notes From A Walkman Junkie: Write, You Whore ”

  1. Nat Almirall on May 19, 2011 at 11:31 am

    You could commission John Coovert and his gorilla suit!

  2. Jackson on May 19, 2011 at 11:32 am

    odd. and perfect. just like you!

    the Dead Milkmen were the first “rock concert” i ever attended. got me some serious street cred with the punks back in 7th grade when i showed up the next day with an autographed concert t-shirt.

    “keep up the doodling, always, you know.”

  3. anncine on May 19, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    I shall check on his availability.

  4. anncine on May 19, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Jackson, you will always have street cred with me, doll.

  5. high_low_james on May 19, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    I hope that stuffed alter-egos are the wave of the future.

  6. anncine on May 19, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    Well, it is more than likely the wave of my future.

  7. Iona Wansley on May 21, 2011 at 7:00 am

    Were you on the porcelain telephone?

  8. anncine on May 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    No, but Anna was bigtime.

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