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Now Wear This!

April 29, 2011
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Last Wednesday, I questioned myself if it was kinda bad that I would rather concentrate on the NHL Playoffs than my wedding dress. My saving grace, here, is that if you happen to be a Detroit Red Wings fan, you will quickly and confidently answer, ‘Nope.’

The Wings have been my team ever since 1998 when one of my best chums, Erin, and I ventured to Nova Scotia and she broke down a Wings vs. Avalanche game for me over a couple of Molson XXXs. (Yes, I.Am.Canadian.) Besides being one of the original six Hockey teams, the Detroit Red Wings have now won eleven Stanley Cup championships (the most of any NHL team in the US, jus’ sayin’), participated in 25 of the last 27 playoff seasons, and 20 of those seasons are from the years 1991-2011.

No doubt, we ALL know I could go on about the Wings, their manners, talent, heart, their fans’ adorations, and how Chris Osgood & Kris Draper should be knighted. However, I shall mosey down from my box of sudz and report that the Wings are currently set to play the San Jose Sharks, perhaps on Friday. (Go Wings!)

My wedding dress is not set to play anything anytime soon. I’ve been pretty down about this lately and feel like I’ve reached the proverbial ‘My body is too (insert sad/negative adjective here) to get married’. There are several excuses I’ve been going with, ‘I’m built like a man’, ‘my stomach is hideously large’, ‘my shoulders are too broad’, ‘I don’t like tapioca pudding’, etc. Nary a one of these excuses are absolutely true (minus the pudding, because tapioca in it is gag-inducing) and the sane part of my personality knows that.

However, the insane I-don’t-feel-very-pretty part of my personality has no idea what kind of a wedding dress could make me feel better. So, I went looking for evidence that somewhere, someone has it worse than me. Like reality television, Shannen Dorherty, and people who wait for the bus in their pajamas, my search made me feel undeniably better.

 

Prom Dress

While I’m sure several of you have seen this before, the ‘Pregnant Prom Dress’ certainly deflated the notion that my own stomach is too massive to be married. (uglydress.com)

 

Hip Dress

I, too, would like to don a shorter dress style, but hope to look less forlorn about it.  (tackyweddings.wordpress.com)

 

Bow Dress

GAH! (uglydress.com)

 

MTV Dress

When I first saw this photograph, my immediate thoughts were:

1.WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!

2.Dennis Rodman? (uglydress.com)

 

 

Twin Cities Dress

Two words, WHOOOOOOOO DOGGIES! (tackyweddings.wordpress.com)

Napoleon

I may think I’m built like a man, but at least I’m not built like this man. (uglydress.com)

 

 

 

 

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2 Responses to “ Now Wear This! ”

  1. Feather on April 29, 2011 at 10:49 am

    A. I’m thrilled to see you’re back!!!
    (Not your actual back, just that you’re writing again!)

    B. You are AMAZING just the way you are.
    (Sorry to quote Bruno Mars)

    C. The pics of the dresses you posted are…wait for it, wait for it… AMAZING!
    xo

  2. Sara on April 29, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    A. Thanks, Feather!
    B. Who? Dennis Rodman?
    C. Yes.

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