There are oodles of really important things/lies I could claim I’ve been doing during my hiatus from Frothygirlz. Most importantly, though, I’ve just been feeling sorry for myself and tossing out excuses of artistic under-stimulation. Fortunately, my Boy Wonder and I made a pact that he’d get back into playing music and I’d get back into writing and photographing. Gawd save the Queen.
Fortunately (or not), I recently remembered the phrase ‘write what you know’. And now, similar to all super groovy/semi ho-hum ideas, I know weddings. Well, I know stuff about weddings. Alright, alright, I know about my own wedding. Regardless, I’ve picked up a few notes along the way which, I believe, give me authority to say I know a lil’ sumpthin’ about weddings…even if it’s just what wine we’re serving at the rehearsal dinner.
It is now five months before our ‘ceremony’, and while I have not bought one bridle rag and have only sported two dresses, there are several wedding-related points I can bank on.
*Do not purchase your wedding dress online should it require custom made measurements. I am the laziest shopper I know because I loath the process. Rather than endure dressing rooms, I will buy clothing, take it home to try on, and then drive back to the store should I need to return it. Hence, my purchase of a hand made wedding dress from China…which arrived and revealed itself to actually be an adult diaper. (If Baby New Year was female and had two thumbs up, she would be this Girl.) While I am not planning on voyaging to China to return said dress, my shopping laziness hit a new low with the Diaper Dress.
*You really can plan your own wedding. I swear this can be done and it’s called ‘delegation’. Some people seem amazed that I’m not a basket case yet. How could I be when I’ve pawned almost everything I should be doing on everyone else?!
‘Mom and Boy Wonder, you two are so good with food and you get along really well. You two would probably be great working together on menu ideas!’
‘Boy Wonder, you’re a musician, and I really trust your good taste. Maybe you should take on designing a playlist, what do you think?’
‘Nobody knows flowers like Grandma and I’m so picky about flowers. I’ll bet G-ma would be PERFECT selecting flowers!’
Apparently, as in many of life’s tasks, flattery will get you almost everywhere. (Realistically, everyone who is involved with this production has been unwaveringly helpful and kind, and, sentimentally, I am terrifically grateful.)
*Dietary needs: trump or be trumped. I cannot digest foods bathed in dairy and I don’t eat any meat beyond our little fishie friends. Suffice to say, planning a menu catering (somewhat) towards me is more than tedious. Example being, after several frustrations with offending dairy and animal foods, my Mother graciously noted that some people also can’t digest certain vegetables. This led to my very first Bridezilla episode. My new theory is that anyone who’s receiving a free meal and drinks may not have full rights to complain about much beyond the two aforementioned items.
*The guest list shall not be a guilt list. Of course, I wanted to invite everyone I knew to this affair. Mostly, because I knew that anyone who experienced my past life wouldn’t believe that I was honestly getting hitched. Certainly, with our small venue, inviting the State of Rhode Island would be absolutely impossible. However, submerged in plans and preparations, I have come to realize that anyone who has ever put together a wedding will totally understand why they may or may not have not made ‘the cut’. They’ll be fine because they’ve already gone through the struggles, menus, ‘Cheese plates?! We don’t need no stinkin’ cheese plates!’, alcohol withdrawals, etc.
Each of these bullets, I realize, is terribly provocative and genuinely noteworthy. I trust, dear Readers (Hullo? Anyone? Oh, look, tumbleweed!), you can understand my re-emergence in order to share my wedding education points. At any rate, it’s nice to return to writing and cocktails with the big Kids.