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America’s Next Top Model: ‘Francesco Carrozzini’

March 17, 2011

First I would like to send my wishes out to Japan.  I’m Japanese-American, don’t know many people in Japan, but I ask you to keep hoping that everything gets a little better and definitely not catastrophically worse.

Secondly, let’s look at the ANTM episode!  Here are some model happenings at the top of the episode:

  • Alexandria has long straight blonde hair and wears a crazy bow beanie-hat in the confessional room.  She is the house b-word.
  • Kasia wishes that she had top photo.  She has two years of modeling experience and wishes to stand out.
  • Sara feels depressed that she was in the bottom two.  She also has a nose ring that I didn’t notice before.  When she returns home, Sara wants to immediately continue school.  Alexandria looks like she is going to barf when she talks about Sara.

If you don’t watch your step, your career will go up in flames, reads the Tyra Mail.  Adorable Jaclyn holds her face as she guesses what will happen (something about a firehouse that made no sense).

In a yellow turban-like hat and matching neon tunic, Miss Jay announces that Geoffrey Mac, designer for Lady Gaga, has designed the clothes they will wear today.

Dalya apparently has “a very competitive walk,” which worries youthful-looking blonde Hannah.  And…into hair and makeup we go.  Molly’s old unruly weave gets partially removed by a hair stylist.

The girls dress and prepare for the shoot.  They put flammable gloves on under colorful flame-retardant gloves; they will be holding flames as they walk.  The runway is also lined with fire.  It is like some video game with torches lighting the way through an underground maze.  The girls’ fear is palpable!  It is a ridiculous challenge.

(There is a Nikita preview, and the love story on that show seems cheesy…well-intentioned, but cheesy.)  Here are some descriptions of the models’ walks:

  • Alexandria opens the show, looks ah-ma-zing in a short green, should I say futuristic-looking?, number
  • Brittani is very theatrical, moving her hands interpretively
  • Mikaela has a subtle walk
  • Jaclyn looks regal
  • Molly looks intensely beautiful and long-limbed
  • Sara looks completely unemotional
  • Kasia appears too sexy
  • Monique walks decently but Hannah looks too serious
  • Dalya’s walk is both elegant and purposeful

The three underlined girls did the best, with Dalya winning the challenge.   Miss Jay said she “held it together.”  She wins two dresses from the collection. The worst girls were Kasia, Hannah, and Sara, who have to walk home.  The girls are a little scared but at least they have a cameraman with them.

Tyra Mail: “Tomorrow it’s OK for you to cause a scene.”  A yellow envelope delivers lines to the girls.  Monique announces that the script is for Fierce Roast Coffee.  The script is decidedly sexual in tone, containing many innuendos.  None of these innuendos seem actually that offensive.  Sara, however, says she is a feminist and feels very uncomfortable.  If I were in Tyra’s shoes, that would sound like a bad excuse for a poor performance on the commercial!

Francesco Carrozini is directing the girls.  Molly is attracted to him (and his talent).  “A top model can also carry the lines in the commercial,” Jay reminds them.  ”50s-style MadMen” is how Hannah describes the shoot.  The girls pair up.  Jaclyn gets a fake booty.  Here’s how the girls do:

Brittani and Alexandria: Brittani is nervous.  Alexandria annoys Francesco.

Kasia and Jaclyn: Kasia is proclaimed “very good” by Francesco.

Molly and Dalya: Both please the director.

Monique and Hannah: Hannah seems a little too fast.  Monique seems a little nervous.

Mikaela and Dominique: Mikaela finally performs after much directing. Sara is awkward and not sexy.  She thinks the whole thing is difficult.

Skull and crossbones indicate elimination.  Brittani feels disappointed in her performance.  Alexandria’s bossy and overbearing personality bores the death out of her roommates.  This is the best moment of the episode: the blank looks of Dalya and Brittani as they listen to Alexandria self-promoting…

Judging Panel: Tyra wears an equestian-chic look.  Her stilettos must be 7-inches!  The room looks more purple than ever, and is still draped and interesting.  Here’s the feedback for each pair:

Monique and Hannah: Both girls are adorable!  They could have taken even more control of the commercial.

Kasia and Jaclyn: They knock it out of the park for all the judges.  Kasia’s lips looked incredible!!  Love it.

Alexandria and Brittani: The performance was less effective.  Francesco calls out Alexandria for her bahvior on set, which would get her fired in any other situation.

Sara and Dominique: Mikaela looked fantastic but fell flat and Sara failed miserably.

Dalia and Molly: Tyra promises Molly she will fix her weave soon.  The girls could have taken advantage of the moments, made better movements, made their close-ups shine.

Elimination: Dalya wins best commercial performance.  Hannah is second (her curly hair is so epic!).  Next are Jaclyn, Dalya, Monique, Molly, Mikaela, and Brittani (who starts crying).  This leaves Alexandria and Sara in the bottom.  Sara has a lack of commitment and confidence.  Alexandria was a little sleazy in her commercial and the director hated her attitude.  Sara seems a little relieved to go, but takes some responsibility for her elimination.


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