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America’s Next Top Model: ‘Lori Goldstein’

March 10, 2011
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Welcome to this week’s ANTM Cycle 16 recap!  Let’s get started.  I really enjoyed tonight’s show’s recap of the previous episode; it really did a thorough job.  This is unique to this season, right?  It showed the drama in the house, the photo shoot, and the elimination.  It was missing Tyra’s voiceover explanation–I think that’s the key change.

This week’s remaining contestants are Mikaela, Kasia, Dominique,  Monique, Dalya, Molly, Sara, Brittani, Hannah, Jaclyn, and Alexandria .

Flash to the night after elimination. Hannah’s picture is up on the best photo screen.  A projector screen with a “pull me” note occupies the girls’ living room.  The girls are screaming so hard and I have no idea why until we see that this relates to…drum roll…makeovers.  “Manly short spikes”  and other descriptions are written on the screen.  We then hear what each of the girls want and do not want in their makeovers.  Monique, for example, loves her hair, saying this as she holds it with one hand and strokes it with the other (read: she doesn’t want it cut).

When Dominique flashes on the screen, saying she feels like “a blank canvas with freckles” I get an instinctual feeling that she might be on the chopping block this evening.  Also featured here is Molly who worries that she was previously in the bottom three.

Troy Jensen will be photographing the girls after their makeovers at the salon of Laurent D.  The makeovers are as follow:

Brittani (pictured): short hair (still chocolate brown), called “short dutch boy” by Tyra.  Gorgeous!  This was one of the most successful makeovers.

Jaclyn: curly hair (big gurly and curly).  Also gorgeous!  Reminds me of Glee’s Rachel Berry.

Monique (pictured down below): fusion bond extensions result in her getting longer hair.

Sara: “manly short brown spikes.”  ”I have a hairy neck!” she exclaims in the process of her hair getting shaved.

Alexandria (resident psycho): “Longer, straighter blonder” has a psycho-b-word meltdown but actually looks gorgeous.

Dominique: “kinky red and wild with matching eyebrows.”  Her style is a weave that’s black and red and long, basically.

Molly, who looks tomboyish to me, says, “I don’t want to be the one girl with the crazy hairstyle.”  She reminds me of the disastrous weave that one girl from season 8, Brittany, who got a short red straight weave.  Brittany kept hitting her head and moaning, and finally Tyra took pity.  Molly’s hairstyle is To Be Continued Below.

Mikaela: super long black straight hair; “think Pocahontas” was the description.

Blonde Kasia: wild crazy crimped hair, a.k.a. “big blonde crimped craziness.”  Can’t you just imagine tyra shouting that?  ”Big…!  Blonde…!  Crimped…!   Craziness…!”  And can’t you see her throwing her arms out and emoting like crazy while saying it?

Dalya: “long black and straight.”  She looks Naomi Campbell-like.

Hannah: “dirty blonde and big waves.”  She says she “feels a little more luscious and sexy”–what a cute way to describe how one feels.  She ends up looking like the actress in Secret Diary of a Call Girl.

Back to Molly’s hair now (pictured below).  When finished, it looks kind of like a huge light-blonde fire.  Oh, and I was really digging the angry looks Molly was giving the confessional camera right there.  She was really jutting out those cheekbones and giving a good hard pout.  Go top model!

Focus on Dominique again.  “It might be what I needed,” she refers to her new hair.  Oh, I think she is going home.

“Tomorrow you will learn all about photosynthesis.” -Tyra Mail

Back at the house, we see that Sara feels intimidated.  She feels emotionally nude, like an ugly duckling.  She is reminding me of that girl who totally had a meltdown in Amsterdam (with alcohol and getting naked in the tub with boys around).  She was the girl who said “I feel like I’ve been misled to think that I am model.”  She was also the girl who was unofficially gay with Analeigh (they took baths together!); her name was Marjorie.

At Orcutt Estate Ranch, the girls meet “royal” Pamela Hanson and Lori Goldstein, stylist.  “You’re really always competing with that other girl in the photograph,” Mr. Jay says, stating the importance of standing out in the group photo.

Kasia and Molly work together (pictured).  They look like couture dolls with huge hats on.  Swanlike is the only way to describe Kasia’s outfit.

Alexandria looks like a psycho b-word, jutting out her lip and feeling angry.  It’s not even clear what she’s angry about, and if that reason even really exists.  Everyone on set notices.  It was so awkward watching Alexandria and Monique kind of lean backwards on each other here.

Mikaela and Sara start their shoot by just standing there.  Then they begin walking and holding hands, which helps things.

Hannah and Brittani are next.  ”That looks horrible,” say Pamela and Lori at one point.  Then the two “fold into each other” to great effect.  Both wear interesting hats; one is very Dr. Seuss-like with a pink ice cream color.

Dalya, Jaclyn, Dominique are up.  The two that are not Dominique look fabulous and have great gorgeous cheekbones and big luscious, shiny lips.

Scull and crossbones appear on the TV at the models’ home, indicating panel and elimination.  Sara worries about getting a stern tongue-lashing at panel.  It is so adorable how Jaclyn says “I don’t want to be rude, at certain point you shouldn’t complain about everything,” referring to Alexandria.  Course you’re not being rude, Jaclyn, you are saying this in confessional!  No one else in the house can hear you!

At panel, Tyra’s sleek, brown-with-highlights hair looks cute, the way it feather outward, away from her face.  Andre, Nigel, and Lori Goldstein are present.

First critique: Monique and Alexandria. Monique’s picture has personality.  Alexandria nailed it, but Lori comments on her crankiness.

Next are Brittani and Hannah.  ”Gorgeous!  This whole shot works in so many ways,” exclaims Nigel.  Tyra calls this picture “a beautiful waltz.”

“Gorgeous again!” Nigel literally says, loving Dalya, Jacklyn, and Dominique‘s photo.  Nigel gives Jacklyn a huge smile when he compliments her etheral picture.  I think he thinks she makes a cute baby-slash-model.  Dominique struggled.  I think Nigel’s huge smile, lit-up eyes, and raised eyebrows really made this episode for me.

Next are Mikaela and Sara.  Mikaela’s eyes weren’t open in her and Sara’s shot, and Sara looks like she got caught on camera–in a bad way.

Molly and Talia‘s picture hits the roof in terms of superbness.  ”Molly, you look like a strong, warrior sister” (warrior sister?!), says Andre, adding that Talia looks like a good girl.  Tyra seems to feel that this picture tells a story about sibling rivalry.  Andre makes up a word, swandom.

Alexandria (pictured), Molly, Brittani, Kasia, Jaclyn, Hannah, Monique, Dalya, and Mikaela are called in that order.

The two in the bottom are the “nontypical beauties” Sara and Dominique.  Sara might not believe in herself.  Dominique doesn’t have that inner fire.  ”Practice in the mirror,” Tyra tells Dominique with a hug as she is eliminated.

Next week, a catwalk with huge fiery torches and some photographer who yells, “Do it!  Do it!  Do it! Do it!” literally that many times at Mikaela, who is wearing white formalwear and sipping coffee.

What did you think of this week’s episode?  Did you notice that the preview for Gossip Girl looks totally boring?  Add your comments!  Please note that all photos are copyright the CW.

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