Important Notice Concerning the Usage of “Awesome” as a Noun
Definition of AWESOME
awe·some adj \ˈȯ-səm\
1 : expressive of awe <awesome tribute>
2 a: inspiring awe <an awesome task> b: terrific, extraordinary <had an awesome time>
This just in:
Until further notice, any usage of the word awesome as a noun has been suspended, effectively placing a moratorium on said activity.
I’m just as shocked as you are, but I feel the timing is right. The use of awesome as a noun has reached critical mass, the consequence of which is that at some point, the “quirky-is-cool” factor will begin to produce diminishing returns. Personally, I’m particularly fond of using awesome as a noun, and as such I’d hate to see it become definitively uncool. The intent of the new ruling is, effectively, to stop while we’re ahead.
I’m told a special exception has been made for San Franciso Giants pitcher Brian “The Beard” Wilson, who’s usage (in terms of context, delivery and timing) has taken the practice of using awesome as a noun to its absolute zenith. No further progress can be made here.
Additionally, Mark Douglas of “The Key of Awesome” fame has been grandfathered in, and will be able to keep his domain name.
The rest of us have to stop, lest we drag “awesome” down to the level of “bitchin’”, or “rad”, or “bro”
That is all.