No! Snooki Will Be Dropped in the New Year’s Eve Ball
In other news, hell has frozen over. Seriously, doesn’t this signal the end of our society or something? MTV has announced (without a shred of irony, I might add) that the orange oompa loompa known as Snooki will be placed inside the ball that will descend upon Times Square on New Year’s Eve as part of the MTV New Year’s Bash.
What has the world come to? New Year’s Eve used to be about elegance and class. Now, I won’t be able to watch the ball drop for fear of catching a venereal disease through the television set. Don’t worry, we’ll be subjected to the other cast members of Jersey Shore as well.
From The Hollywood Reporter:
“The other castmembers of the hit reality show will lead the crowd in fist pumping to attempt to break a Guinness world record.”
Record for what? Trashiest gathering in a public place? Most spray-tans assembled in a crowd?
Doesn’t anyone understand that we keep feeding the beast(s) when it comes to this group of miscreants? They grow stronger and more powerful with each public appearance, rapidly gaining traction on their plan for world-wide domination in 2011. We can only pray for a “malfunction” of the ball equipment to set us free.
I feel sick. I’ve been driven to have my vodka drink a bit earlier than usual this afternoon, yet another thing to blame on those damn Jersey kids.