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Voodoo Dating: The Ballad of Bullock

September 24, 2010

I don’t condone infidelity, especially if you happen to be hitched and without the understanding of an ‘open relationship’. This is my preface before I launch into my loathing of Sandra Bullock.

Maybe Sandra’s a lovely Girl and just because I find her insipid and comely (read: Zzzzz) shouldn’t abbreviate the level of heartbreak she endured when her Husband pitched his tent in someone else’s panties. However, people cheat on one another: it might happen and if it does, you need neither forgive nor forget. I believe if you give yourself to someone in one of the highest regards (marriage), you deserve honesty and faith within your relationship. If what you receive is instead sabotage, cut the cord, move on, and adopt a baby to replace the one who fooled around on you.

If you’ve committed yourself to someone, I really don’t think they deserve to have their trust broken…but if I were Jesse James, I might have acted in the same manner. MIGHT. I don’t know Sandra personally, but she makes me tired in that you’re-an-Actress-yet-you-keep-playing-the-same-role-over-and-over-and-over-until-you-become-Kate-Hudson sorta way. Jesse, on the other hand, is an adventuresome badass with bikes, tattoos, and a wicked smile. The only women I imagine ‘taming’ him would be Susan Saradon or Tina Turner. Unfortunately (or not), for Sandra, I don’t think she had the guts or desire to tame a Boy who is most likely…er…untamable.

So, Jesse James cheated on his wife. Not a classy move, but would the rest of you Battle for Bullock Babes rather the two stay together and be unhappy? Is that what all these yawning, ‘If only he could have restrained himself’ conversations are supposed to accomplish? Since our hero’s story was such a ‘cute one-lol’, they’re sentenced to a lifetime of cheating and resenting each other? True, they probably shouldn’t have gotten hitched, but divorce is just like breaking up, right? And just LOOK how well Ms. Bullock is doing on her own! ‘Sandra’s the happiest she’s ever been’ & ‘she finally found the child she was looking for and this is what she was meant to be doing’. Adorable. I’ll be over there, following Jesse, riding as far away from Baby Bullock as we can.

Here’s my other beef, anyone who hasn’t watched LA Ink, with Kat Von D, needs to saddle their judgements. Ink is a pretty slammin’ show and Kat’s hawt on about seventeen scorching levels. She didn’t start Jesse’s infidelity fire, she just happened to be around to fuse a couple pieces back together. The Von D & James seem pretty pleased to be together, so what business is it of anyone else’s to question or complain. Hey, people change and mature, and, personally, I find Kat a way better route to crash on.

The Ballad of Bullock needs to wind down: she’s fine, he’s fine, we all seem to be fine. Sandra’s bland little life will continue with her new toy baby and Jesse will be able to party with someone who can keep up with him. Praise be to Allah-now let’s all get inked.


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3 Responses to “ Voodoo Dating: The Ballad of Bullock ”

  1. Nay Shayan on September 24, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    I love Kat Von D as well. I actually had a little crush on her for a while.

  2. Mark on September 24, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    So what you’re saying is “Cheating is wrong, but I don’t blame Jesse James all that much because he’s a scorpion and Sandra Bullock is a toad.” Did I get that right?

    I suppose that’s true. But what’s really true is that Kat Von D needs to call me sometime, because I’m sure I can convince her to settle down and make babies, raise chickens, and snuggle on the sofa with me on Friday nights.

  3. Sara on September 24, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    Kat Von D is very pretty and worth of many crushes…and Friday night snuggling sessions.