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Sardonkadonk: Sexy Halloween Costumes

September 22, 2010

My enthusiasm for Halloween is well documented on this website.  My love for horror films, the Autumn season and free candy all combine with perfect synergy – beginning with the first, crisp chill in the air and culminating with a holiday punctuated with sugary treats and spooky themes.  FUN, it says!  You would have to work pretty hard to ruin this magical time for me, such is the strength of my love for Halloween.  Though if there is one drawback to this particular season – and some may argue this point – it would be the ubiquitous Sexy Halloween Costume.

Easy to find and impossible to avoid, there are SEXY versions of everything out there for ladies of discerning tastes.  The unimaginative will gravitate towards your Sexy Nurse, Sexy Witch, Sexy Devil, Sexy Police Officer type costumes (for which one merely shortens a skirt to roughly the length of their panties, dons thigh-highs, a low-cut bustier and hat in either white, black, red or tan).  Slightly more interesting are the animal/insect contributions to the Sexy Halloween Costume set - you swap the short skirt and thigh-highs for tights and replace your hat with some furry ears or antennae and you have Sexy Cat, Sexy Bunny and Sexy Bee – not to mention having the added bonus of pinning a fluffy tail or stinger to your general ass area, thus creating a focal point/conversation piece for your fellow merry-makers.

Who you gonna call? (please call me, I'm generously be-cleavaged and super subtle)

There is good news for fans of cinema as well since there is no shortage of film-inspired characters that can’t be Sexy-fied with a little tweak here and there.   This is particularly true of things that generally aren’t considered to be boner fuel by the masses – namely characters that  either are children or are intended to amuse kids.  You like The Wizard of Oz?  How about a Sexy Dorothy?  DONE - the internet is swimming in options.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?   How about some Sexy TMNT?  Brace yourself for Hotness in a Half-shell.  Harry Potter?  That’s right, Hermione Granger just made Hogwarts a whole lot SEXIER.   The sheer volume of RIDICULOUS made available to the paying customer suffering from poor judgement and low self-esteem is staggering.  If you think that the sparest film of shiny fabric can’t in some shape or form make the vaguest possible reference to the least hot concept for a costume out there, well then let me introduce you to (I SHIT YOU NOT) Sexy Optimus Prime.

{Cleolinda Jones of Occupation Girl – who is awesome and wields the gifts of word-smithery like nobody’s business –  has this to say about the matter, I highly recommend a visit to her site}.


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9 Responses to “ Sardonkadonk: Sexy Halloween Costumes ”

  1. Sara on September 22, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Two words: Jessica Rabbit.

  2. Lily (acharmedwife) on September 22, 2010 at 10:07 am

    I totally agree with you, and have always been amazed by the ridiculous lingerie (which is what it really is) that otherwise-sane-seeming girls will wear in public on Halloween.

    At the same time, now that I’ve seen it, I’m not sure I can resist being Sexy Optimus Prime for Halloween this year. It’s just too good.

  3. Tina on September 22, 2010 at 10:33 am

    i’m so glad we feel the same way about the slutty…er, i mean…sexy halloween costumes.
    they are so ridiculous it’s funny.

  4. Jane on September 22, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Tina, I know – these kinds of duds really do bring out the snark in me – I’m not opposed to near nudity (or full nudity, for that matter) when there is some creativity behind it, but these just take the broadest, saddest road possible.

    Lily, I am also tempted by Sexy Optimus Prime (in fact, if my income were of the disposable variety, I might even make the jump just for the joy of trotting it out when I am feeling blue – how can you be sad with Sexy Optimus Prime hanging in your closet?) Of all the SEXY costumes out there, that one elicits the greatest peals of giggles from me.

    Sara, you would rock the hell out of Jessica Rabbit! Now that is the kind of creativity I am talking about!

  5. Travis on September 22, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    I think you should buy the Optimus Prime outfit–especially if Mr. Pancake was a fan of Transformers in his youth. But for godsakes don’t just break it out at Halloween. Anytime you can find a babysitter, I should think that costume would be perfect for any “date night.” Perhaps he could dress as Shia Lebeauf and the two of you could go out and save the planet together–in a sexy way.

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  7. Jane on September 22, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Travis, as usual you offer sound advice. I should consider Sexy Optimus Prime as an investment in my marital happiness – worth every penny!

  8. Girl Puppy Names on September 22, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    I really like puppies. I just got one particular a week ago and it has not been trained yet and has bitten me a couple of times but its nothing to worry about, i can train it effectively. I hope :-)

  9. Giuseppe Embertson on October 11, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    Happy Halloween 2010! I’m look at interesting halloween articles about costumes, decorations, party etc. Found your blog and it’s really cool! Very usefull information, thanx!