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New Lineup For ‘Dancing With The Stars’

August 31, 2010
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David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff

Once again ABC takes some serious liberties with the word “stars” and announced its lineup of individuals with questionable star power.

Here are the new participants, who were fittingly announced after Bachelor Pad on Monday night.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino Appears on MTV’s Guido-fest Jersey Shore.  Frequently seen shirtless in public. You can make fun of him all you want, but the guy makes $5 million dollars a year doing absolutely nothing but being a tool.

Audrina Partridge Cast member of The Hills, and is an aspiring model/actress.  Audrina already has a sick body, I can’t imagine what she’ll look like after all the hours of training. No fair.

Brandy Singer who was also a co-star on Moesha.  Brandy peaked in the 90′s, when she was considered a premiere R&B singer.

Bristol Palin I guess this comes as no surprise. We have already seen politicians on the show, so why not their children? I was permanently scarred after witnessing Tom Delay attempt the samba.

What I find disappointing about this is that so many people defended Bristol’s right to privacy during her mother’s campaign (myself included.)Now she is kind thumbing her nose to all those people by joining the reality show circus voluntarily.

Jennifer Grey Best known for starring as “Baby” opposite Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. She also starred as Matthew Broderick’s older sister in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Grey’s odd claim to fame is that she became a cautionary tale for those seeking nose jobs.  Jennifer was always beautiful, and had a very unusual nose. It looked great on her.

After she went and got a nose job that made her look like any average person, she dropped off the radar.  I am actually excited to see what Jennifer can do.  She had the dance moves back in the day, and she could be a serious competitor.

David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff David is a huge international star thanks in no small part to the enormous popularity of the Baywatch television series he produced and starred in.  He also is a “singer” if I might use that term loosely.

Sadly, David has become a tabloid fixture the last few years for bizarre behavior and lots of drunken escapades.  He’s the grown up version of Lindsay Lohan.  He will either sober up for the show, or he will be a complete train-wreck.  Stay tuned.

Florence Henderson 76 year old Florence will forever be synonymous with Carol Brady, the role she made famous in The Brady Bunch.  She has proved to be spunky and willing to make fun of herself over the years.

She made several appearances on My Fair Brady, the VH1 reality series that chronicled the odd pairing of Christopher  Knight (who played Peter Brady) and sexually adventuresome model Adrianne Curry. Henderson was also the face of Wesson cooking oil for what seems like decades.

You young kids had the “Rachel” haircut.  My generation had the “Carol Brady.”  You know who would win in a hair-off.

Margaret Cho Comedian who broke through racial and sexual boundaries with her scathing performances.  Cho is not only Korean, and a woman, but she has been an outspoken supporter of gay, lesbian, and transgender rights long before it came into vogue to do so.

Cho currently can be seen in the well received Lifetime drama series Drop Dead Diva.

Kurt Warner I don’t watch football, so I don’t know who he is, but apparently he is some famous ex NFL quarter-back, and fulfills the requirement of “football player” that must be checked off on every season of DWTS.  Warner holds several NFL Superbowl records.  Look at me, talking all sporty.

Michael Bolton was a crooning balladeer who was ubiquitous in the 80′s and early 90′s.  For reasons I have never clearly understood, he bacame a lady-killer, and was even engaged to Desperate Housewives hottie Nicolette Sheridan at one time.  Personally, I could never get over the hair.

Bolton covered famous tunes “(Sittin’ On) the Dock of the Bay”, “When a Man Loves a Woman”, as well as original material.

Here is a video of “Said I Loved You, But I Lied.”  I beg of you, check out the hair.

Rick Fox Ex-husband of Vanessa Williams; former NBA player for the Celtics and the Lakers. Has appeared in some bit television and movie roles.

Kyle Massey Never heard of him?  Well, your tweener has.  Massey is a Disney star, recently starring in That’s So Raven and Cody in the House.  He is also an aspiring rapper.

There you have it.  The new cast.  Who are you rooting for?

Just for giggles revisit Tom Delay’s painful samba moves.

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3 Responses to “ New Lineup For ‘Dancing With The Stars’ ”

  1. Charlie on August 31, 2010 at 10:29 am

    I’m a fan of the show, so thanks for the layout of contestants and your thoughts of them. I would have never known most of them.

    As far as the Bolton video – I would much rather do the female hottie (and I’m not lesbian either) then Bolton. I do think the hair is strangely 70ish but his face is handsome. I like his voice but I had to mute the song since I hated the lyrics (too sappy).

    Fun post!

  2. abner miller on August 31, 2010 at 11:22 am

    i think the abc is leeting us down on who they are putting on the show now ,, some of these constantes are not stars ie bristal palin ,, man i really liked this show now it is losing my interest,, by who they are putting on the show ,, very very disappointing

  3. abner on August 31, 2010 at 11:25 am

    abc can you find some real stars for the dancing with the stars program ,, question are you trying to kill the show ?

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