Voodoo Dating: The Truth About Kids and Cats
Years ago, my Aunt Sara laid a piece of advice on me; There are no greater judges of character than children and pets. And, by yimmity, she was on the money, hip to the jive, in the know, etc.
While I’m not so keen on kids and won’t ever be producing and analysing their behaviour, I do have to say Aunt Sara’s & Unca Keiths kids have proved her statement true on multiple occasions. When her triplets (my delicious and darling Cousins) were small, I brought my college Boyfriend to Michigan to meet them. My Godchild, Alex, asked the Boyfriend if ‘he had a Mother’ and the question was answered, ‘Yes, I do. She’s in Minnesota.’ Alex, who was brilliant then and more so now, retorted with, ‘Well, can you go back there now?’
Not that it was the most cordial question I’ve heard in my lifetime, but it was probably more polite than, ‘Only your Mother likes you, now please go away.’ Most children are blatantly obvious. Sometimes it’s humourous and sometimes it’s rather obnoxious, but they know what they like and whom they don’t want around them. That is, when they’re not running around performing their ‘Little Drunks Routines’ or uttering, ‘Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, watch my chainsaw!’ Or ‘Dad, Dad, poison me, Dad’
As for pets, I consider my own Wic E. Cat, to be a purrfectly good judge of character. She’s had a crazy-tsunami-circus-like life, which enables her to make pretty accurate judgements on the crowd I should be preening myself around. While she’s a bit of a snob, I believe she’s earned the right to distance herself by hissing at anyone who claims to be someone more pedicured than they are. Case in point, I dated a Boy who was convinced Cats adored him and he could flirt with any feline around. My puddy-tat wasn’t havin’ it and employed her Hissy-Bitey skillz whenever said date made his appearance.
While Wic tolerated other Boys who brought her treats and complimented her, her heart truly only belonged to the people she felt made my life best. Eventually, I accepted my ‘Outfox the Cat’ routine wasn’t going to work and that Wickey really did know better than I. My Boy Wonder often alludes that he never would have made it passed my kitchen if Wickey Cat disliked him. (Sure, it might be true, but consistently bribing Cat with fresh salmon didn’t exactly hurt his chances.)
Wic E. Cat really is a magnificent judge of character because she chooses to surround herself with only people she enjoys or tolerates. Of course, this may not be the kindest way to dislodge one’s self from undesirable company, but it’s a stellar way of rounding up the riffraff.
For the most part, I don’t think kids & Pets segregate the company they keep to be hurtful. Rather, I think the two species cater to their own tastes, what’s right for them, and, ultimately, who or what’s right for the beings they are closest to. Just as my Cousin Alex gave me the head’s up that Minnesota Boy wasn’t the one, Wickey Cat has weeded her way through the rest of my possible suitors. When the Cat finally settled on Boy Wonder, it merely added to the elevendy-billion reasons why I should stick with the Superhero. (And, because, no one else would probably have me after discovering how much time I spend with my Cat.)