Some Like It Awkward
I was hanging out with my friend Goldie a while back and we were chitting and chatting about this and that – and somewhere in the conversation he disclosed to me that he found Shelley Duvall attractive. The first thing I did upon hearing this was conjure up an image of Shelley in The Shining - clutching a butcher knife, wearing a frumpy turtleneck and gigantic, grandpa sweater with greasy hair and a bug-eyed expression of terror.
The second thing I did was laugh. HARD. But then Goldie showed this photo of Ms. Duvall to me and I had to confess, she looked awfully cute. My apology didn’t quite make it out of my mouth as planned however, because then I started thinking about her swishing her giant knife ineffectually at a bugfuck-crazy Jack Nicholson and the giggling began anew. In the wake of my laughing fit I was struck by the realization that my friend was not alone in finding the appeal in the awkward. I have harbored what I consider to be a hard-crush on Jeff Goldblum for as long as I can remember – and isn’t he kind of a taller, more bugged-eyed, male version of Shelley Duvall? He totally is. And I think he’s hot. Mea culpa.
I have a soft-spot for the gangly types and by soft-spot I mean I find them dead-sexy. You would never describe them as conventionally handsome – but I love a skinny, dishevelled and rumpled fella. Throw a gigantic mop of unruly curls on his head to complement the over-sized features (that never quite look like they go with the same facial real estate that they occupy) and I am a goner. And myopics just slay me. To wit, let us have a gander at some gentlemen who have caught my eye – I think you may notice a few commonalities here and there.
I am embarrassed to admit this, but I only know of Hugh Laurie because of the TV series, “House M.D”. I vividly remember the first time that I watched the show because I thought it was completely stupid. (I remember saying to my spouse, ‘…so, every episode is like this? Someone is ill, the hospital staff doesn’t know what it is, they make some notes and draw on a chalkboard and think they figure it out and then they treat the patient but then they realize they are wrong and the patient almost dies and then House shuffles in the room and susses it all out with some cranky sarcasm?’ GAH.) I was annoyed, but I kept watching and the reason is quite simple. I love Hugh Laurie.
My cousin Nat wrote this excellent piece on Robert Altman’s The Long Goodbye, which prompted me to amend my Netflix queue and check it out. I loved the film, and I LOVED-LOVED Elliot Gould in it. If you haven’t seen this movie, I urge you to rectify the situation immediately. Seriously, it’s so good. And Mr. Gould - all lanky and insouciant in his rumpled suit - has never looked better.
I first got an eyeful of Jeff Goldblum in David Croneberg’s remake of The Fly. The movie is a favorite of mine and I don’t need to tell you that I am utterly besotted with Mr. Goldblum - not to mention his character Seth Brundle. My fervent affection for Jeff Golblum was further galvanized after seeing the seminal film, Vibes (also starring Cyndi Lauper, Peter Falk and Julian Sands, about two psychics searching for a lost city of gold or something in the Ecuadorian Andes. Of course, along their way they discover that the real treasure is LOVE. It’s a must see, BELIEVE) and since then I have found that I enjoy Jeff Goldblum in everything he does -whether or not I actually like the movie. This is a crush I have yet to outgrow.