In The Weeds: Your Copay Amount is 20 Percent
This month marks a year since I was fired from The Capital Grille for writing this blog. I spent the last six months of 2009 kinda flailing around trying to figure out my next move, including a very short stint as a very sucky bartender. In January, I finally decided to re-enter the “normal” 9-to-5 world that I had abandoned in 2005 after having my first son.
I’ve alluded to my new job a few times here, but I’m not entirely retarded. I won’t be sharing a “behind-the-scenes” look at my new industry. But it’s too bad the corporate world is so sensitive, because it would be awesome. What I will say is that I work in the medical field. And in the last six months, it’s become obvious to this former server that restaurants bring out a certain dickishness in people that doesn’t often show up in other places of business. Maybe it’s that hospitality leads dickish-inclined folks to imagine that for about an hour, they have actually joined the ranks of aristocracy by simply obtaining a Discover card. Or maybe it’s that the welcoming atmosphere of a restaurant reminds customers of home and they just fall into treating employees like they treat their wives, husbands and children - like shit. Whatever the reason, here are a few things you would never hear a customer say in a doctor’s office:
- What do you mean there’s no availability for an appointment tomorrow? That’s unacceptable. I come there all the time! I’m a very important patient. Let me talk to the doctor. I’m sure he’d want to know I’m trying to make an appointment.
- I’ve been waiting in this little room sitting on this little table for more than 10 minutes! I will not be paying you for your services today.
- I know you are a cardiologist but I’m just not really in the mood for an angiogram today. Can I just get a pap smear instead?
- That doctor across the street does a WAY better physical than you. Cheaper, too. I sometimes wonder how you stay in business, doc.
- I don’t feel this anesthesia at all. Did you even put any drugs in there? Take this back up to the anesthesiologist and tell her to make it a strong one this time. I’m paying good money for that.
- Daaaaaamn, doctor. You married? You look hot in that white coat. What size are you?
- Will you watch my kids for about an hour and a half?
- Well, the cancer still isn’t cured. What am I paying you for anyway? I fully expect a free chemo coupon for next time.
- It’s my birthday. Do you offer any discounts?
- No, I don’t need anything else. I know you closed an hour ago, but I want to sit in the exam room for a few more hours and just relax. I’ll let you know if I need anything.
(Note: In searching the Interwebs for relevant material for today’s post, I stumbled across a blog that not only previously tackled the same subject, but is also written by a Kansas City waiter … only he did it way better and was all overachievin’ and shit by actually making a video to illustrate his point. Check it – Tips on Improving Your Tips)