Crabbygirlz ‘Scopes of the Week
Aries [March 21 - April 19]
There are no monsters in the closet. In your head, maybe. In the closet? No.
Taurus [April 20 - May 20]
Just keep on doin’ the hump.
Gemini [May 21 - June 20]
Catch 40 winks today. When you walk by the construction site.
Cancer [June 21 - July 22]
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. This applies to relationships, too.
Leo [July 23 - August 22]
Take time for a quickie. I know it’s ironic. That’s why it’s such charming advice.
Virgo [August 23 - September 22]
Today there’s much ado about nothing. Ain’t that something?
Libra [September 23 - October 22]
Sleep evades you. Sleeping around invades you.
Scorpio [October 23 - November 21]
Go ahead and get fries with that.
Sagittarius [November 22 - December 21]
Roll out the red carpet, and roll over those bitches that try and walk on it ahead of you.
Capricorn [December 22 - January 19]
The more, the merrier. Well, if you add a crapload of booze it will be.
Aquarius [January 20 - February 18]
You’ve gotten caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Take two more.
Pisces [February 19 - March 20]
Put your feet up. Don’t take your shoes off though, your feet are ripe.