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Voodoo Dating: Swing Low & Aim High

June 11, 2010

Previously, on Voodoo Dating: Sara photographed an erotic art show/body painting session over to Club Sesso. Read: Ron Jeremy’s cornucopia of card-carrying couples & swingers. It was classic.

The body painting was top notch, the models were undeniably lovely, and Yasmin (our gracious hostess) was more than accommodating in her exquisite black heels.

While I’m not fully seasoned in the Art of swinging (nor do I wish to be right this second), I can appreciate just about anything for what it’s worth (with the exceptions of Hitler Youth & bananas). For those requiring a Sara-sized description of the layout, décor, and drainage of Club Sesso here’s a website: Giddy-up.

After the body painting and situating underage models in the upstairs-and-legal portion of the club, I traded my five and a half hours of photographing for campaign. Upon receiving my glass of goodness, the chap next to me inquired if I was ‘Here for the first time or a member.’ My somewhat overly energetic response was, ‘I’ve not been here before, but I’m always willing to photograph any unique situation!’ (Side note, while my personality is commonly enthusiastic, sometimes, during ‘real life’, my enthusiasm can bring about the tumbleweed of awkwardness.) What I didn’t intend as a baited response, was rebutted by the chap telling me how he and his wife met a nice couple at Club Sesso and were interested in taking on another party.

I’m infamous for saying the exact wrong thing at any given time and stumbling around attempting to correct myself. I’ve learned these situations are more humourous than embarrassing and that they’re not going away anytime soon. So, how does one gracefully exit a tri-couple invitation, in a swinger’s club, while donning a camera? I hadn’t the foggiest idea then and I’m still wondering now. Something clever which doesn’t offend would be ideal, but is there an ‘ideal’ declination for such an invitation? Extending the phrases, ‘I’m engaged’, ‘My cat doesn’t need the extra parents’, or even, ‘I’m not into tripling up, but if you need a photographer…’ don’t seem appropriate.

Google’s lacking in advice with their lonely  ‘How to Politely Decline a Threesome’ site. And sadly, when I asked the Internetz how to decline a coupled swinger invitation, I received information on declining wedding invitations as well as ‘parties where everybody will be more than twice my age’ (the horror).

I realize the correct way to handle any declination is with honestly rather than making excuses, which could ultimately be construed as rude. However, this can’t be such an untapped (heh heh) mine regarding information and etiquette. I mean, Emily Post is probably working on this very matter as I ponder and type. But until then, has anyone a suggestion or experience to offer?


3 Responses to “ Voodoo Dating: Swing Low & Aim High ”

  1. HazzMatt on June 11, 2010 at 10:51 am

    Pretty pictures!

    Words aren’t to shabby either. Although I think you should have lead the guy on a bit more to see just exactly what they were offering. (if ya know what I mean).

  2. Nay on June 11, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Oh, I’m so sad I missed this. It sounds so much fun. Can’t wait to see the pics.

  3. Mark on June 11, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Claiming a raging herpes outbreak usually does the trick for me.