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May 28, 2010

When does the act of breaking up actually get broken?

I’m not entirely sure, but I’ve been pondering the ‘broke down break up’ for a couple of whiles. The reason being is watching relationships, the number of ‘breaking up times’ involved, and wondering what would be considered the ‘actual end’ of the affair. Or, does the act of breaking up morph into some Young & Restless version of the twins from The Shining and go on forever and ever and ever…

While I’m not hoarding these answers, I’m willing to self-evaluate the situation. (Let’s all nod our heads and speak in our best know-it-all-friend-who-actually-does-know-it-all smug voice and say, ‘Of course you are.’) Leave us begin.

The scenario is that your relationship isn’t working for a cornucopia of reasons, the parties involved recognize this, but getting out is getting difficult. Why?

1. Obviously (or hopefully), the parties have genuine feelings for each other and leaving is sincerely disheartening.

2. Growing into your partner’s life is practically inevitable when dating. Therefore, ending a relationship is like ending a part of your own life. It doesn’t sound too pretty and it probably feels an entirety worse.

3. Going back after breaking up seems easy. You’ve already become close with your ex and who do most people wish to communicate with when they’re experiencing hurt? My guess would be the people whom they are closest to. Therefore, wouldn’t going back to an ex, when one is craving emotional attention and physical desire be sort of an obvious choice? Heck, I think it would. (Take my opinion with a splash of splenda, though, as I tend to ingest houses of Caramilk bars when I’ve been dumped.)

Having invested in that, let’s have a gander at this: How many times does it take for breaking up to break down? While there probably isn’t a number glazed in gravel, I feel like there should be a limit on couples calling it quits (if anything, to provide verification for the rest of us). I’m no Jerry Springer copulated with Dr. Ruth, but I think we’ve all come into contact with those constant couples of continuous collapse.

Cleansing, cutting away, giving each other space, finding one’s self again, blah, blah, Ginger, are all valid points for leaving relationships. However, I’m not a big fan of the ‘getting back together’. I’ve never felt like a second attempt was worth any of my dating experiences, and I can tell you I have my limits on listening to couples who consistently break up only to return to each other-and so on and repeat.

Any onlooker or listener would have to reach a point where they just don’t care to hear about said couple’s breaking up and returning, right? There has to be an end of the line where the actions of said relationship become invalid and we all return to our daytime drama stories. The chain of breaking up must finally unlink itself and become labeled as ‘broken’-if not by a number of times used, then by the growing annoyance for the employed crowd of listeners.

Given my lack of experience in offering or taking anyone up on a second chance, I beg the question, ‘How many times is breaking up considered credible until it’s broken?’



  1. Lynn on May 28, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    three strikes and the relationship is OUT!

  2. Nay on June 1, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Oh, that’s a good question to ponder, especially since I’m on round two of my relationship. I don’t plan on there being a round three. So I’d agree with Lynn, three strikes and the relationship is out.