Crabbygirlz ‘Scopes of the Week
Aries [March 21 - April 19]
Don’t take your eye off the prize. You can totally devour that box of cracker jacks.
Taurus [April 20 - May 20]
Quit teasing others. And your hair.
Gemini [May 21 - June 20]
Your passion manifests. For chocolate. Remember, once you go dark…
Cancer [June 21 - July 22]
Get your booty to boot camp. At the crack of dawn. Work out until you’ve got it goin’ on.
Leo [July 23 - August 22]
If you want a reaction, you’ve got to take action. The bigger the better.
Virgo [August 23 - September 22]
Lighten up already. You don’t have to be the life of the party, but, damn.
Libra [September 23 - October 22]
Know what, know what, know whatcha want.
Scorpio [October 23 - November 21]
Time to revamp your image. Ironically, because you come off as too much of a vamp.
Sagittarius [November 22 - December 21]
It’s time to take action. Who gives a crap what the reaction is? Just do it.
Capricorn [December 22 - January 19]
If someone rattles your chain, yank theirs.
Aquarius [January 20 - February 18]
Make peace with an old flame. Then, if you’re feeling it, get a piece, too.
Pisces [February 19 - March 20]
Trust your instincts. If it walks like a duck, acts like a duck, and looks like a duck, feed it a freaking cracker.