5 Single Malts Worth Trying
Here are 5 single malts that are worth trying if for no other reason than the fact that (1) they kick-ass, and (2) Scotch is cooler than wine.
|Glenlivet 12-yr: Dangerously good Scotch; you won’t want to quit drinking it. 1/5 on the “chest-hair” scale, 4/5 on the “likelihood of cursing with unrestrained glee after drinking it” scale. If it were a musician, it’d be John Mayer (strictly vocals, let’s leave his guitar playing genius out of this particular comparison). Respectable, and very accessible.|
|Glenfiddich 15-yr: Glenfiddich like Riddick. Fifteen years is a long time. If it could drive, it’d have a permit. Full flavor with a noticeable increase in manliness. 2/5 on the chest-hair scale AND a steel-toed boot. Somewhere between John Mayer & AC/DC.|
|Macallan 12-yr: Probably the best liquid drink that humans have ever invented, and a solid 3/5, middle-of-the-road on the chest-hair scale. Not too strong, but not John Mayer either. A combination of AC/DC, Led Zeppelin & Van Halen; the holy trifecta of rock. You absolutely, positively cannot go wrong with this spirit.|
|Balvenie 12-yr: Kick-ass looking bottle. 3.5/5 on the chest-hair scale, a pair of steel-toed boots, and a chainsaw. Think of it as liquid Stevie Ray Vaughn. When you drink it, you might make this face. Definitely worth the trip.|
|Highland Park 12-yr: Highland Park’s brewing process boils the leather-boots from Balvenie in the “Water of Life” (obtained from the giant Sandworms of Arrakis), and mixes it with the Balvenie chainsaw, and then combines the 1-star from Glenlivet, the 2 from Glenfiddich, the 3 from Macallan, and so on, for a total of 9.5/5 on the chest-hair scale. Drinking it is probably the manliest thing you can do in regards to booze. And when you drink it, you will make this face, but you will become purified as a man in the process, and you will feel like this.|
This is Pants signing off and as always, if you’re gonna drink, drink like a man.