In The Weeds: Mistresses and Complainers – Equally Sucky
Glory be to the golf gods and Phil Mickelson’s crazy looking left-handed swing for sparing us from a Tiger Woods Masters victory. We got to see a stand-up guy embrace his wife with tears of gratitude, and there was nary a mention of Tiger from the commentators after Phil’s win. Way to stay classy, Masters.
What was not classy was one of Tiger’s porn star mistresses demanding a personal apology several weeks back for not being the only woman (besides his wife) that he was screwing. Here’s a snippet of insanity from DailyNews.com:
“I would be open to a telephone apology from Tiger, but I really feel that I deserve to look at him in person — face to face, at his eyes — because I didn’t deserve this,” a tearful Veronica Siwik-Daniels said at a news conference with her attorney, Gloria Allred. “I’ve had to deal with a lot in two months from him, and because of him.”
She also said she still loved him.
Siwik-Daniels, known as Joslyn James in her porn films, made her comments immediately after Woods’ remarks were broadcast.
“(He) did not apologize by name to my client, Veronica, and I ask, ‘Why no apology?’” Allred said. “Veronica had a three-year romantic relationship with Tiger Woods … He led her to believe that she was the only woman in his life — other than his wife.”
What. The. F**k. Other than his wife?? She is complaining that he is cheating while he is cheating. It’s crazy-ass bitches like this who demand unreasonable shit for problems that they themselves created that remind me of restaurant customers who demand apologies for things they bring on themselves. Let’s take a look at the most common restaurant “Joslyn Jamesisms” shall we?
- JJ: My steak is drrrryyyyyyy. It’s all tough and I can’t even chew it.
Server: Uh, yeah. That’s kinda typical for extra well done steak, you stupid bitch.
- JJ: My drink is too weak. I don’t even think they put any liquor in it. I can’t even taste the rum.
Server: Uh, yeah. That’s kinda typical for frozen drinks. Actually, that’s the whole point of frozen drinks, you stupid bitch.
- JJ: I’ve been waiting 20 minutes for you to take my order. I’m really hungry. And I have to be somewhere soon.
Server: Uh, yeah. Those first 5 times that I came by your table to take your order and you said you needed more time was actually the ideal time to order. In the last 20 minutes, I was sat with 3 more tables with the assumption that my first table was well underway, you stupid bitch.
- JJ: The sun is in my eyes!
Server: Uh, yeah. You asked for a table on the patio, you stupid bitch.
- JJ: This just doesn’t taste right. Something is wrong with this dish. I shouldn’t have to pay for this.
Server: Uh, yeah. You asked for 4 modifiers. You’re vegan. And you can’t have gluten, you stupid bitch.
- JJ: We want to sit in the bar. Oh, it’s the smoking section? Well, we want to sit at the bar. It won’t be bad, right? Okay, we’ll sit in the bar. (5 minutes later….) Why do I smell smoke??
Server: Uh, yeah.
- JJ: How much longer for my table?
Hostess: Uh, yeah. You walked in at 7:30 on Saturday without a reservation. I told you it was a 45-minute wait. It’s been 15 minutes. You do the math, you stupid bitch.
- JJ: This Pinot Noir tastes really weak with my ribeye. And this German Riesling is waaaay too sweet.
Server: You suck at everything. Especially living your life with purpose and dignity.