Frothygirlz ‘Scopes of the Week
Aries [Mar 21-Apr 19]
Someone asks for your help in the 11th hour. Make sure they reward you with a happy hour.
Taurus [Apr 20-May 20]
When others say jump, you say, “Screw you!”
Gemini [May 21-June 20]
It’s another game of monkey see, monkey do. Duck! Monkeys are known to fling poo, too.
Cancer [June 21-July 22]
Life is a highway. To hell. Enjoy your journey.
Leo [July 23-Aug 22]
Time for a little reflecting. Be sure to check yours before you go out [and check your teeth].
Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
Life is precious, treat it as so. But those stupid Precious Moments figures have got to go.
Libra [Sept 23-Oct 22]
When someone flips out over your news, flip them off.
Scorpio [Oct 23-Nov 21]
Lights and camera guarantee action.
Sagittarius [Nov 22-Dec 21]
Take the helm at work. And sink those mfers battleship.
Capricorn [Dec 22-Jan 19]
That not-so-fresh feeling? It’s more than a feeling.
Aquarius [Jan 20-Feb 18]
Stop and smell the roses. Then buy yourself a bunch, because that jerk won’t.
Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
Put your feet up. Just make sure that you get a pedicure first.