The Bitch List
A completely disjointed list of what I’m hating this week.
Let me call this the anti-froth, if I may. If you are grumpy, bitchy, and easily annoyed, this is the place for you to air your grievances. This is going to be a quick weekly rundown of what’s irritating me right now.
- Warm Vanilla Sugar hand soap/body wash/candles/lotion/air freshener. I detest vanilla scented products, and the monopoly that vanilla has acquired on the home fragrance market is disturbing. Unfortunately 95% of houses I visit use said scent. It makes me hungry, and pisses me off.
- Church. I made my yearly visit to Church on Easter Sunday, as a show of unity for my husband’s family. The following is an actual quote from one of the songs we sang, “Though I deserve no more than death, God blesses me with salvation.” So I go to Church only to be told I deserve to be dead? Way to inspire and motivate, Church. See you next Easter.
- Clash of the Titans’s 3D. Hey if I want to see optical tracers, I can think of much more fun ways to arrive at that result than sitting through a crappy movie.
- Jesse James. You. Dumb. Man-slut.
- Angel Food Cake. You call this a dessert? If I am going to waste the calories on a dessert, my teeth bettter curl up into my skull, and my blood sugar better go soaring. Angel food cake, you are all full of hot air. I banish you from my plate henceforth.
- People with iPads. I burn with jealousy. You lucky bastards.
- Duke in the Final Two. I wanted West Virginia to win, because they beat my alma mater, Missouri. It always hurts less when the team that beat you goes all the way.
- Car Trips. I loathe being in the car, because I don’t get wi-fi, and I just sit there flipping the f out how much I need to be getting done on my computer. The lost work time makes me crazed.
- Lindsay Lohan, or rather her “friends and family”. Why does no one help this girl? Why does Dina continually say everthing is fine? So sad to see another child star chewed up and spit out by Hollywood, right before our eyes. Someone please intervene, for God’s sake.
- Mother Nature. Enough with the Earthquakes, okay?