Voodoo Dating: Date Your Friends
Lately, I’ve been experiencing that ‘not so Frothy’ feeling. I’ve felt like dead weight over to this blog and was on the rim of handing in my resignation when my alter-ego, Pearl, reminded me of my life theory: If you don’t like a part of your life, rewrite it.
Heeding ye old(e) advice, I shall start ‘writing what I know’ and while I may not know a ton, I can usually adorably glide my way through most situations. What I do know is shoes, dating, and how to properly throw a baseball. With any serendipity, the rewriting of my Frothy career will eventually feature all three. I’m going to take Shannon’s note from months passed and explore this Sex in the City dating/relationships attitude she fed to my ego. (And before the groans are expelled, we all know we watched the show for Kirsten Davis, so pipe down.)
Before I begin, here are The Rules:
1. I certainly will never mean to imply that my way is correct and my readers’ ways are not. Instead, I’m probably just implying that my advice is more better.
2. While I pursued a career in Psychology for about five seconds in University, any advice or tips I doll out become the reader’s responsibility when employing.
3. If I do or say anything, which works out (even questionably) for my readers, I dig turquoise, yellow tulips, and Caramilk bars.
And now, I give you Voodoo Dating-tips, advice, recipes, comforting vegetarian meatloaf-it’s all here.
Qualifiedly speaking, I’ve been dating for twenty years and this has given me a pretty good outlook on the market of ‘What the Heck is Out There?’ I’m really not biased; I’ve dated wonderful people, sketchy people, people from the other side of the world, people who not only didn’t get me-they didn’t get anything else, hockey players, musicians, writers, truck drivers, idiots, chefs, animals, construction workers, extreme businessmen, park rangers, and I ended with one very beautiful trumpet player. Basically, I’m not picky. (I’m not choosey either.)
It’s true, I’m happily off the dating market, but consider this: In twenty years, I’ve been through all the hurt (choose a type of hurt, I dare you), fake romance, politeness, thoughtfulness, dumb luck, etc., and I ended up with my favourite person ever. I got engaged to someone so deliriously dreamy & demented we often relish in the fact that no one else would ever have us except each other. So, see? I didn’t end up too badly and with any luck you all can obtain your demonic dreamboat(s) as well!
Having written that, I’ll write this week’s advice, which is: Get Over Dating Your Friends. If I could have my way, I would instruct everyone I know looking for a potential relationship to date their friends. Date all your friends if you can! Show no boundaries, no qualms, and no hesitations! The reason is, that your friends have a better chance of continuing to be your friends should the romantic relationship crumble. (Aside from those hideously messy breakups involving cheating, animals, and shoplifting, but you didn’t really want to remain friends with someone like that anyway, did you?)
I have a slew of friends and acquaintances who firmly believe I’m nuts for not only remaining friends with most of my past relationships, but that I also keep in contact with them. My rationalization is that these relationships were pretty terrific when we were chums, so why wouldn’t they be groovy as romantic partners? One of the best parts of dating a friend is that you didn’t start out on romantic ground, so if you end things there is already a foundation of friendship to potentially head back towards.
I know this because one of my very best friends is also one of the very first people I ever dated. In evidence, I really scored on my Best Chum’s friendship afterwards because I ended the relationship badly. Our friendship was shaky for a while, which was completely my fault, but we were able to eventually return to and improve our initial friendship because we had such a good standing before. Thus proving that it’s pretty natural to date within one’s friendship circle because there are understandings of who each other is and how you operate. A friend not only accepts this, but can interpret it less harshly should your relationship go South.
In retrospect, a friend whom you’ve dated can also give really good advice on future partners. My Best Boy & Best Friends’ opinions of each other matter a great deal as these are the people who claim to know me…er…best. And knowing is half the battle!