Frothygirlz ‘Scopes of the Week
Aries [March 21-April 19]
A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush, but the birds in the bush won’t poop in your hand, will they?
Taurus [April 20-May 20]
Let a sleeping dog lie. But if a dog lies to you, kick the bastard.
Gemini [May 21-June 20]
Instead of giving someone a hand, give them the finger. That’s what they really deserve, isn’t it?
Cancer [June 21-July 22]
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Okay, maybe there are a few things you shouldn’t reuse [it's just not healthy...].
Leo [July 23-Aug 22]
If you opt to take the road less traveled, know that it’s likely that it’s also not paved. And if it’s gravel it’s probably going to f-up your windshield. So…go with the well-traveled road.
Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
Put your pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us. Who in the hell are you trying to impress?
Libra [Sept 23-Oct 22]
Dot your i’s and cross your t’s. Mind your p’s and q’s and a few f-u’s too.
Scorpio [Oct 23-Nov 21]
Celebrate good times. Come on!
Sagittarius [Nov 22-Dec 21]
Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is the right thing to do. It’s about time others see a different side of you.
Capricorn [Dec 22-Jan 19]
Walk tall this week, no matter what anyone says to you. But don’t put on 3-inch heels to do it, because then they’ll say you’re a hooker. And that would be embarrassing.
Aquarius [Jan 20-Feb 18]
You have a lot of layers. Sorry, that wasn’t meant to be deep. I was talking about your hair.
Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
You might not hold a candle to a coworker, but you sure as hell can light a match under their ass.