FB Status. Symbols.
You think you know your friends. Until you read their stupid facebook status updates. Where do the pieces of your posse fall in this limitless listing?
Drunk: Reports spelled incorrectly and oft mention their drink of choice, “4 dirty martinys later and I feeel dirti” – [thanks for that].
Sick: TMI on the trips to the bathroom to vomit or otherwise, “3rd trip to the toilet is a charm today” – [great, now I'm ready for my first].
Poetic: Always quoting a great, from Carlin to Confucius to Abraham Lincoln, just in case you would have never guessed them to be well read – [because honestly, you wouldn't have].
God’s gift to parenting: Tirelessly placing junior on a pedestal, reminding you of what you are not doing right as a parent, “Muffy placed first in her gymnastics meet this weekend, conquered the NYTimes crossword and practiced her Latin with my great-grandma over homemade biscuits she insisted on baking from scratch *grin* – [I prefer to half-ass my parenting].
Braggart: Always, always, always going on vacation to Maui, Europe, Key West or scoring VIP tickets to Black-Eyed Peas, “BEP 1st row 2night — yeeeessssss!! Tomorrow? Flight out to the Virgin Islands!!” [yes, I'm jealous and yes, you suck].
The Abstract: Constantly updating status with “is” to get as many solicited responses as possible – [is lame].
I’ve done these all before. And I’ll do them again – but I promise *grin* that I won’t look like an asshole doing it.