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February 9, 2010

Being self-employed truly does have its perks. Aside from the fact that my boss is a nice piece of eye candy, she is also indulgent in my daily viewing of The Young & the Restless. Last week, I was a few seconds early in catching up with the Newmans vs. the Abbotts and got to visit with Drew Carey on The Price is Right. I was pleased to note that Drew had taken on Bobby Barker’s plea of, ‘Have your pets spayed or neutered.’

I adore animals. When offered the chance, I would usually spend about 60% of my time yapping with them rather than chatting up humans. I loathe cruelty to pets and think the over-population of animals is senseless & unjustifiable. Obviously, I support having animals spayed & neutered, and after hearing Drews/Bob’s tagline, my thoughts started on one of their weird trailing sessions. This time, I traipsed back to High School=reading Swift’s A Modest Proposal=how I unswervingly agreed with the point of the story=my disdain for children=spaying and neutering humans to avoid the over-population of children.

Not that this should matter to anyone, but unless I know you & your children or am related to you & said spawns, I don’t like the idea of kids. I don’t think they’re cute and I don’t care to hear, witness, or experience anything about them. Now, having written that, I’ll write this, why is it so gosh-darned difficult for a chick to get a hysterectomy?! I’ve been attempting to slide myself into one for years and, personally, I think I should be rewarded in doing so. If it’s a good idea to spay and neuter pets, wouldn’t it be all the mo’ better to unhand the baby-making equipment? My own surveys say ‘Yes! Fer sher! Atta Girl! Go Team Barren!’

Instead, usually I have to deal with the following:

Breeders: You’ll change your mind about having children.

Wannabe Barren: I’m 33. I knew when I was five that no babies were coming out of me. Seriously, 28 years with the same stance doesn’t gift me some sort of ‘Get out of flippant response free card’?

Breeders: Even if you don’t like children now, you’ll grow to love your child when you have it!

Wannabe Barren: Stellar reason to bear a child. Right up there with, ‘If I have a kid, the Father will HAVE to stay with me!’ Brilliant. And what happens if I still don’t like the thing when it comes out? Can I exchange it for a corgi?

Medical: It can cost anywhere from $3,000 to $12,000 to have a hysterectomy.

Wannabe Barren: Fantastic. Like most ‘woman surgery’ items, we’re left with the idea that it’s cheaper to just pull out the ‘coat hanger & a dream’ method.

Medical: If you wish to donate your eggs, you really should be under 30.

Wannabe Barren: Never mind the fact that I’m blond, green-eyed, having a sparkling personality, photographic eye, am an avid jogger, love animals, etc.…at 33, I’m too old to give anyone the opportunity at creating a family. Silly me.

I can’t even give this baby-making junk away. I would welcome the opportunity to aid someone in the whole procreation deal, but it’s been easier for some people to chastise me about my life and my choices. Therefore, let’s really hit this point home with a few secrets about me: I will ingest anything with aspartame because my gynecologist once told me that large amounts of it will destroy one’s uterus. I don’t want to gain weight during a pregnancy-yes, I am that vain. The pain of labour is nothing I would ever want to endure and some screaming, drooling, diaper-ridden, ungrateful teenaged, college loan toting kid isn’t my idea of a ‘reward’. Does this sound like someone who should have children? Not so much.

Honestly, I’m happy to see responsible and caring people with opportunities to have children. And I feel like I’m responsible in realizing that I wouldn’t be a proper Mother or Parent because I have absolutely zero interest in becoming one. I am certainly not implying that the majority of my chums are disregarding my feelings about kids, I’m just sayin’, ‘Because I can have children doesn’t mean I should’. On the flip side, just because I can probably perform my own hysterectomy doesn’t mean I should do that either.

So, until someone creates a Donate Your Uterus programme, I’m outta luck. My conclusion is this, if I can respect your determination to have a child you should be able to grant me the same for having the smarts not to birth anything. I’ll stick with my animals and you have a go at procreation and we can all meet up for cocktails when the small ones are out of the house with firm jobs



  1. fizzy on February 9, 2010 at 8:26 am

    welcome to my world babe.

    I knew forever I didn’t want kiddies. It’s hard but be strong eventually they’ll shut up and go away. It was hell in Switzerland/Italy. Children are the it thing. If you don’t have kids you’re sick, wrong or something else…

    my pat answer has always been I don’t see the point in procreating more children into a world already overpopulated. I was doing my part for the environment…hard to argue with that argument.

    hugs from another one of the childless by choice….

  2. pancake` on February 9, 2010 at 9:24 am

    well – before I play devil’s advocate, allow me to preface this by saying that I think it’s a sad commentary on our society that a doctor would be so unethical as to perform 10 plastic surgeries (in one day, no less) on a 23 year old woman who is neither deformed or burned beyond recognition – but won’t make it easier for a 33 year old woman to make an informed decision about her reproductive choices. But, I understand that we live in a litigeous society and the medical professionals are probably trying to protect themselves from lawsuits.

    After completing my undergraduate education, I asked my parents for tube-tying surgery as a graduation present – they thought I was kidding and I got plane tickets instead. I was certain that I didn’t want children until I was about 29 or 30 – I am one of those people who changed my mind and so it is a good thing that I didn’t go for the surgery when I was younger. I guess my point is here, I changed my mind (which by no means implies that you will, I am merely speaking for myself) and anyone who knew me then wouldn’t believe that I have two bebes now – So it is a reasonable concern with the medical professionals that women may change their minds about these things. I believe you have the right to do what you choose with your own body, but think it’s ethical for doctors to have intensive consultations (including mental health evaluations) before preforming any permanent surgeries of any kind.

    This is why I am a huge advocate of men taking more responsibility for birth control – they have options too.
    Soapbox Dismount!

  3. Nat on February 9, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Being the other Almirall who wants kids, I’m backing Jane on this one.

    I also disagree, vehemently, with the overpopulation argument. 1) More people make the world better; 2) The contributions of a single individual run a risk of overpopulating so close to zero that it may as well be; 3) Julian Simon was right.

  4. Nay on February 10, 2010 at 12:19 am

    You tell them girl. Just say no to drugs… I mean kids.
    I have to say I think our current methods of birth control suck. Wish there were better ways.

  5. Shannon on February 10, 2010 at 10:55 pm
  6. Sara on February 11, 2010 at 8:26 am

    Shannon-Thank you for your find. I don’t believe for a second that all men share the bumbling brains which would allow them to all forget to take birth control. Just as I don’t believe that all women would remember to do the same. I can barely remember which colour my hair is from month to month.

  7. Nen on February 15, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    I say one of your best articles Sara!

    I think that more people should explore the idea that just because you are able to have children…doesn’t necessarily mean you should! Ask an abused child about that.

    And Nat, we could go round and round….but I disagree w/you about “more people make the world better”. Maybe you need to spend some time interacting w/the people I’ve been forced to interact. You might just change your mind
    And just because the world theoretically has enough resources to support more people, doesn’t necessarily mean people can ACCESS those resources.

  8. Janis on February 17, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    If you want to make the questioner/pusher uncomfortable, give them the impression (directly or indirectly) that you are trying to have babies and are not able. Kind of along the lines that I advise my husb. to tell people he is allergic to mushrooms instead of having to explain that he just doesn’t like them, doesn’t want to try them, No, really, doesn’t even want a little bite to see if maybe he’s changed his mind, etc. People who choose not to have children should be allowed the choice. And people who choose not to eat mushrooms, well… maybe just a little.