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Crabbygirlz ‘Scopes of the Week

January 25, 2010

Aries [March 21-April 19]
Scratch those date plans for this weekend. Trust me, you’ll be better off scratching yourself.

Taurus [April 20-May 20]
You could make do with what you have this week. Or you could make your way to the liquor store with your credit card…

Gemini [May 21-June 20]
Man can not live on bread alone. It needs to be dipped in infused olive oil and chased down with a bottle of merlot.

Cancer [June 21-July 22]
Make haste, not waste. Unless you’re wasted – then, by all means, be hasty.

Leo [July 23-Aug 22]
Mind your p’s and q’s. And your xxx’s.

Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
Save for a rainy day. And when it rains, may the vodka pour.

Libra [Sept 23-Oct 22]
Some things are better left unsaid. Unless it’s snarky. Go ahead, whip them with your wit.

Scorpio [Oct 23-Nov 21]
Stop and smell the roses. Then pick up a dozen for yourself.

Sagittarius [Nov 22-Dec 21]
Roll with the punches. Unless that a-hole deserves a punch in the face.

Capricorn [Dec 22-Jan 19]
Patience is a virtue. That said, will you hurry your ass up, already?

Aquarius [Jan 20-Feb 18]
Pick your battles. And if the booger is ready, pick your nose.

Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
Practice makes perfect. But what fun is perfect?


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