Fore! Tiger Woods Fights Fornication in the Deep South
It’s been official for a week or so now. Golf great [in bed?] Woods is in self-love lock-down. Mississippi’s “Gentle Path” [insert dirty golf joke about getting the ball in the hole here] rehab center is the supposed sexual compulsion clinic site. Some say it’s “The Meadows” in Arizona. That could be, it sounds most like a country club. A country club that caters to sexual recovery and just might have a course [the golf, not masturbation variety] designed by Jack Nicklaus.
I for one am expecting big things from Tiger [that's what she said]. He has, for one, signed a celibacy contract. A contract that bans sex with anyone – even his animal self – for the duration of therapy. So much for getting his wood out of the bag for a while. And a pretty short while at that considering the treatment averages 6 weeks of tough questions, labyrinth walking and – WTF? – art therapy sessions. I would love to see those pictures. I would not like to know off-hand [eww] which mediums they are using.
Because in everything from golf to sex, life imitates art.
I hear that when Tiger gets out he wants to get back on top. I don’t doubt that at all. But I’m pretty sure that’s what got him into all this trouble in the first place. Oh wait – maybe he’s referring to his golf game. I hope pulling out [of the game - get your mind outta the gutter] helps him pull it off.
No I don’t. I hope Elin takes all his damn money, and his family continues to take the high road. Screw the mulligan when it comes to Woods.