I had initially put off seeing Avatar in 3-D for a couple of reasons: 1.) I really do not care for CGI effects (generally speaking) and 2.) I am prone to motion sickness. I have had a long history of getting all kinds of sick from all kinds of moving things; cars, planes (there were many occasions of a young Anne having to tromp through the airport donning only her skivvies due to her clothing being covered in her own sick), trains, bikes, skates, scooters, horses, water beds… I recall having to sleep in my step-brother’s room on his water bed while visiting my father once. He had a picture of a scantily clad Madonna above his bed and I remember being consumed with two specific thoughts as the bed swooshed around, “Man, I feel really sick, and wow, what a nice rack.” So, yes, despite my non-interest in and fear of the film, I decided to give the Avatar experience a go.
We were all herded in like cattle and given a pair of 3-D glasses in exchange for our tickets. I have to say, the idea of the non-disposable 3-D shades grossed me out a bit. I was envisioning them literally being taken off one person’s face and placed on another person without so much as a wipe down first. Therefore, I spent an obsessive ten minutes wiping off the (possibly and likely) infected eye wear before putting them on my face. My other concern was my nose and it’s tendency to reject glasses of any kind. I have a (slight) bump on my nose which causes some minor schnoz-rage when crossed by spectacles and I always wind up with a sizable ( to me, anyway) dent on my nose after wearing these objects of woe any longer than approximately eight minutes. After coming to terms with this inevitable nose deformity, I put on the glasses and braced myself for the movie to begin.
Things started out alright and I made it through all of the 3-D previews for other films seemingly unscathed. When Avatar first started I thought, “OK, I can do this… not so bad.” It was only when the film shifted to life on Pandora that things got ugly, well, actually they got pretty (very pretty), but not for me. I started to feel extremely queasy during one of the very first “running through the forest” scenes and things pretty much went downhill from there. I spent the rest of the time (three long hours) taking breaks between watching the movie and staring at my lap in an attempt to stave off the dreaded sickness that I was experiencing. To make matters worse, I desperately needed to pee during the entire last hour of the film. I did, however, due to my own full bladder dilemma, take delight in the fact that James Cameron’s acceptance speech at the Golden Globes for Avatar winning best picture began with, “I will make this short… have to pee something fierce.”
Despite A plenitude of physical discomfort, I did enjoy some of the Avatar adventure. I took great pleasure in the extremely over-the-top character of the Colonel in the film and strongly feel that his coffee mug — the one that accompanied him during the majority of the intense battle scenes — deserved it’s own credit in the movie. I also feel that if said coffee mug had been a part of the final and MOST intense fight scenes (mainly the final battle scene in the giant robot thing), the movie would have been considerably better. My movie companions also made the film viewing worthwhile. I enjoyed my boyfriend, Jackson’s opinion that the giant robot thing should have had it’s own large colonel-esque coffee mug during the battle scene (much like the boss in the movie Office Space ). It was also Jackson’s opinion that Avatar was (practically) a dead ringer for the 1992 film, FernGully. Another added bonus was my friend, Adonis attempting to speak the Na’vi language for the rest of the evening after watching the movie. I will say that I came away from the flick knowing two very important things: 1.) 3-D is not my friend and 2.) I never want to see Avatar again.