Crabbygirlz ‘Scopes of the Week
Aries [March 21-April 19]
Get out from under your Snuggie and into your moon boots, the sun is shining and the temps are climbing [but you still need to pack a flask of whiskey, just in case there's another cold snap].
Taurus [April 20-May 20]
Note to self: playing doctor may lead to a trip to the doctor.
Gemini [May 21-June 20]
You can’t fit a square peg in a round hole. But that doesn’t stop some people from trying. Avoid those people after 10pm.
Cancer [June 21-July 22]
I’ve got a feelin’ – - – that tonight’s gonna be a big ass disappointment. Stay in to avoid finding that out.
Leo [July 23-Aug 22]
Counting calories isn’t as fun as counting the people fatter than you. Give props to the skin you’re in.
Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
Carbs are your friend. Who else would soak up your ingested alcohol after 2am? Too bad they can’t hold your hair back, too.
Libra [Sept 23-Oct 22]
Go ahead and rock the boat. Make waves. Make a splash. Make sure your bikini top stays on.
Scorpio [Oct 23-Nov 21]
If the shoe fits, wear it. And buy another pair.
Sagittarius [Nov 22-Dec 21]
Someone is trash talking you. Dirty up their reputation a little in response.
Capricorn [Dec 22-Jan 19]
All work and no play makes you anything but dull, because you can WORK it!
Aquarius [Jan 20-Feb 18]
Got some skeletons in your closet? Lock the door, your secrets are safe with me.
Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
If the lights are on, but nobody’s home, break in.