Notes From A Walkman Junkie: Dolls On Wheels, Milk Punch, Green Berets, Etc.
You may have noticed that I have not posted for a couple of weeks now….or maybe not, and it is like when I was a kid, frustrated with the world (my parents) and I packed a little “hobo style” bag and ran away (because then they would be sorry) only to return a few hours later and realize that no one even noticed I was gone. Anyway, I was gone. I took a short holiday break to travel and spend time with family. This holiday proved to be chalked full of surprises, laughter, tears, booze, and, as one would expect, dolls, inflatable ponies, and green berets.
On x-mas eve I was presented with a splendidly lovely engagement ring in a basement. When my (super) boyfriend, Jackson was later questioned by my brother-in-law about the appropriateness of said basement engagement, Jackson simply replied, “It was a finished basement” (just one more reason why I love him dearly). Of course that was after a muckle of delightful days participating in some typical holiday traditions like wrapping presents, shopping, baking, and watching things like Two Weeks In Hell: the show about the Green Beret special forces’ brutal selection process. The show featured such gems as vomiting from extremely grueling physical challenges then having no choice but to pick up your own sick and put it in your pocket lest you be disqualified for throwing up on the training grounds. You know, just your standard holiday viewing.
The next portion of my holiday vacation was spent with my siblings, partaking in several glasses of milk punch and working on our latest film, which incorporated various dolls, an inflatable pony, several tiny oranges, and the lead, “Becky” (Barbie on wheels). Additional elements in the film involved a score that included Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” and a bag of stale chips to provide some authentic sound effects. We were all very pleased with the work, and I feel it was rivaled only by our production as kids, years ago, that starred my giant stuffed gorilla (so giant that it scarcely fit into the passenger seat of a car–I know because that is how it was transported from Colorado to Missouri by my father when it was gifted to me). The premise of that film was merely a large, mad gorilla who randomly attacked prostitutes. My friend and I played the role of the street walkers whilst the enormous stuffed gorilla was tossed onto us from just off camera. We then dropped to the floor and feigned a struggle with the menacing ape in true Ed Wood fashion. It was goddamn beautiful.
As a whole, my holiday experience was quite gratifying and encompassed all of the standard elements to which I have grown accustom: sweaters, cookies, milk punch, toys, bargaining, denial, anger, mom crying, acceptance. There were also a few new ones: disabled Barbie productions, Green Beret special forces selection process shows, and brilliant ”finished” basement proposals. All in all, a banner holiday season. I am attaching a song by Ghostland Observatory in honor of the hours enjoyed listening to them this year in my brother’s rental car, which, incidentally, was an HHR Chevy as in “H H ‘I would R’ather” have something else, please: