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Hieroglyphic Weather Forecasts And Arbitrary School Closings

January 6, 2010
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Let me tell you, I was overjoyed  to receive an email about an hour ago that our school district will have no school tomorrow.  I am in the process of trying to find out why.   The roads are clear, we had school today, but we “may” get snow tomorrow, after noon. There are no immediately discernible reasons to cancel school, particularly after most of us mommies have just had  our first tantalizing taste of freedom after the long winter break with the kids home from classes. That’s just mean.

I immediately started checking the websites of some of our local television stations, and this is a screen capture of the weather forecast of a certain, unnamed station.

If this is what the school district was dealing with, I understand their confusion and panic.  According to the helpful graphics, on Wednesday a giant Sperm Whale is going to float over our fair city  and  A) Ejaculate  B) Drop shitcicles or  C) Tinkle all over the city.  The Wednesday night forecast states the painfully obvious that “snow blows around”, once again confirming the fact that meteorologists have the easiest job ever concocted by mankind. Thanks for that staggeringly insightful crapshoot of a forecast.

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2 Responses to “ Hieroglyphic Weather Forecasts And Arbitrary School Closings ”

  1. waiterextraordinaire on January 6, 2010 at 8:32 am

    You know not to sound old or something but I used to go to school in worse weather than it takes to close a school nowadays. It’s pretty soft out there for kids. Which is why when they grow up anything that requires some effort does not come easy. Good take on the whale forecasting report. Ha. Weather forecasting is the one profession you only need to be right on very few occasions and still keep your job.

  2. Shannon on January 6, 2010 at 8:37 am

    @waiterextraordinaire
    Yes, so true. This is really quite odd for them to cancel school based on the threat of snow. These guys get it wrong 50% of the time, you can’t base a district closing on their horrible forecasts. Watch it all miss us now.

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