Hieroglyphic Weather Forecasts And Arbitrary School Closings
Let me tell you, I was overjoyed to receive an email about an hour ago that our school district will have no school tomorrow. I am in the process of trying to find out why. The roads are clear, we had school today, but we “may” get snow tomorrow, after noon. There are no immediately discernible reasons to cancel school, particularly after most of us mommies have just had our first tantalizing taste of freedom after the long winter break with the kids home from classes. That’s just mean.
I immediately started checking the websites of some of our local television stations, and this is a screen capture of the weather forecast of a certain, unnamed station.
If this is what the school district was dealing with, I understand their confusion and panic. According to the helpful graphics, on Wednesday a giant Sperm Whale is going to float over our fair city and A) Ejaculate B) Drop shitcicles or C) Tinkle all over the city. The Wednesday night forecast states the painfully obvious that “snow blows around”, once again confirming the fact that meteorologists have the easiest job ever concocted by mankind. Thanks for that staggeringly insightful crapshoot of a forecast.