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Ten Fun Facts About Charlie Sheen

December 28, 2009
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So, actor Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men) spent  a large chunk of Christmas in jail, for an alleged domestic attack on an unknown accuser.  The entertainment blogs collectively yawned at this breaking news, because it is quite common for the troubled star to make headlines for all the wrong reasons.  I really had no idea how much crazy crap the dude has done, and I have got to say that doing a little back research has been tragically enlightening.  I offer you the following fodder:

1. Before he graduated from high school, Sheen was expelled for poor attendance and bad grades. This bodes well for his later role as advocate of the 9/11 truth movement (see #2)

2. Sheen is a prominent mouthpiece of the 9/11 truth movement, a conspiracy group that believes 9/11 was an inside job.  With his obvious vast knowledge of physics, engineering and any other applicable sciences, Sheen declared that the collapse of the twin towers looked like “a controlled demolition.”  Naturally, this was pulled off by mastermind George W. Bush, who is simultaneously lauded as the most stupid man to ever hold the presidential office, yet capable of pulling off the largest fraud ever known to the American people.  Here is a “video message” from Charlie Sheen to President Barack Obama pleading for investigations.

3. In 1990, Sheen was engaged to Kelly Preston.  Unfortunately, that engagement ended when Sheen “accidentally” shot Preston in the arm. Clearly, Preston was fickle with her affection.  Who leaves just because they get shot?  Preston went on to swear off men altogether, which led to her marrying John Travolta.

4. One of  Sheen’s greatest achievements is convincing Winona Horowitz to change her name to Winona Ryder.  They were listening to The Doors, in particular “Riders on the Storm.”  Change the “i” to a “y” and voila!

5. He likes the hookers!  Sheen  testified in the Heidi Fleiss trial that he had spent over $50,000 on 27 hookers from Fleiss’s fleet.

6. In 1991, he and a friend watched the 1985 Japanese film Guinea Pig. Unable to wrap their heads around a concept called “special effects”, they called the FBI because they thought they were watching a snuff film.  Upon investigation, Guinea Pig was found to be just a horror movie with some convincing effects.

7 .In 1998 Sheen tried to inject himself with cocaine, and ended up in the hospital.  His father Martin reported him for parole violation, in order to save his life.

8. Sheen has been accused of committing physical violence against former girlfriend Brittany Ashland, and Denise Richards claimed that his continued threats of  physical violence was one of the reasons she split from him.  Don’t forget about that “accidental shooting’, either. Considering his history, everyone should find it of great comfort that Sheen loves his guns, “I collect guns and shoot them regularly. It’s all purely recreational shooting, I believe in the right to bear arms. I’m beside myself on the banning of the semi- automatic assault rifle. Guns don’t kill people, people do. I don’t carry a gun, but I respect them. I always take a gun on location because you never know. ” (1989)

9. He likes the tattoos!  At one time, Sheen sported over 12 of them, but the one prominently displayed on his chest was just magical.  It was a wooden sign stating “Be back in 15 minutes.”  How awesome is that?

10. Despite multiple drug rehab stints, marriages, domestic violence accusations, and the like, in 2006 he decided that his moniker would be just perfect to launch a clothing line for children. Sheen Kidz was born.

*this post was written with the aid of Wikipedia and IMDB, so we all know it is 100% accurate.

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