Frothygirlz ‘Scopes of the Week
Aries [March 21-April 19]
Don’t resist the urge to jingle someone’s bells. All the way.
Taurus [April 20-May 20]
There’s no place like home for the holidays. Unless your home is
dysfunctional – in which case there is someplace like it, the mental ward.
Gemini [May 21-June 20]
It’s the most wonderful time – for a beer. Put that one on repeat.
Cancer [June 21-July 22]
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? You are? Get a life.
Leo [July 23-Aug 22]
Jack Frost will be nipping at your nose. Be sure to conceal the remaining
parts you would rather not be nipped.
Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
So you really want a hippopotamus for Christmas? Or is that just an
euphamism for something, shall we say, bigger?
Libra [Sept 23-Oct 22]
If you see mama kissing Santa Claus then you must be spending the holidays
in Arkansas. Good luck to you.
Scorpio [Oct 23-Nov 21]
If you plan to walk in a winter wonderland, you’d better pick up those
killer boots you saw at Macy’s.
Sagittarius [Nov 22-Dec 21]
Frosty the Snowman was a jolly, happy soul. Better belly up to the bar and
order what he’s having.
Capricorn [Dec 22-Jan 19]
He knows when you’ve been sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if
you’ve been bad or good – so what the hell, go ahead with bad. It might not
do much for Santa, but it will make you feel good.
Aquarius [Jan 20-Feb 18]
Tis the season to be jolly. If you feel like doning gay apparel, go for it.
Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
You know Dasher and Dancer, and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and
Donner and Blitzen? You would, you name-dropper.