Need Dating Advice? There’s An App For That!
A few weeks ago Mr Smarty Pants alerted me to an iPhone app called Stud or Dud, that used background checks and other invasive information to inform clueless women as whether that new boy they are eyeballing is worth pursuing. This used to fall under common sense and intuition, but it seems the modern damsel is no longer capable of making her own choices, and must bring her smart phone into the decision making process.
I offer you the five following iPhone apps for dating. There are many more, but I cherry picked the best.
Stud or Dud. This helpful app has you enter the name (or address, or phone number) of your new crush, and it reports that it will check public records for bankruptcies, criminal records, property ownership, and evictions. That’s just some of the information you can glean before you preen for your new boy. How romantic.
Are They Really Single? Suppose you find your perfect paramour, but you have a nagging suspicion he might be pulling a Tiger Woods. Now you can quickly have this app check to see if he is married, living with someone, has kids, etc. It’s a sad commentary on society that this is even necessary.
Sex Calculator. Put in a myriad of info about yourself, and your target, along with where you are, and you will get a percentage telling you your shot at sex based on the indicators. I’m no expert, but I give anyone who relies on an app to calculate their chance of getting laid on a given night a big fat ZERO.
Best Pickup Lines. Best for whom? The cheesy lines generated by this app are sure to send any woman running for the door. Sample: ”Your daddy must have been a baker, because you have a nice set of buns.” Ladies, you’re swooning, right?
The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Calculator. On the setup page, you rank different traits from one to ten (looks, sense of humor, etc.) Then, you rate boys (or girls) on a separate page. The app compares the boys based on the information you originally provided, and tells you which one is most compatible with you. Quite frankly, I am little befuddled over this one. The implication is that you have dozens of men to choose from, and that this will help you narrow it down to the right one. Since I never actually had a stable of men chasing after me, I don’t see the necessity of this.