Crabbygirlz Scopes of the Week

Aries [March 21-April 19]
Something is a little off this week. You can’t quite put your finger on it. But you can raise your middle finger at it.

Taurus [April 20-May 20]
A friend in need this week is a friend you’re probably not going to have time for. And they’re probably going to be pissed off about it.

Gemini [May 21-June 20]
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. And the most wonderful time for a beer. Hit happy hour. Often.

Cancer [June 21-July 22]
You’ve got an itch that needs scratchin’. And maybe some cortisone cream. And a trip to the doctor. That itch is a bitch.

Leo [July 23-Aug 22]
A friend’s problem has you perplexed. Put your thinking cap on – it’s a bad hair day anyway.

Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
Try a little pillow talk this week. If that doesn’t work, try a little pillow smothering.

Libra [Sept 23-Oct 22]
Shop ’til you drop – some serious cash at the spa. You need it.

Scorpio [Oct 23-Nov 21]
You’ve been sweeping your troubles under the rug. Time to get out the proverbial vacuum. And it’s going to suck.

Sagittarius [Nov 22-Dec 21]
You’re in a dark place this week. Dark chocolate.

Capricorn [Dec 22-Jan 19]
You’ve got friends in low places. Time to raise the bar, not hang out at one.

Aquarius [Jan 20-Feb 18]
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If someone isn’t beholding yours, poke them in theirs.

Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
Give empathy a whirl this week. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Then get a pedicure.