Holiday Greetings – Keep It Simple, Stupid.
Dearest, Wish-You-Were-Nearest Family & Friends,
We hope 2009 treated you more than fine!
Whew! We had SUCH a BUSY YEAR! It started in January when we attended the Super Bowl, Bob had received the TOP SALES AWARD from his company, so we enjoyed a vacation after Christmas vacation watching the game from the corporate suite, then finished up the freebie with spa treatment after spa treatment and gourmet meal after gourmet meal. We sampled so many wines that weekend that we decided a trip to Nappa was a MUST. So we headed ‘Back to Cali’ (hee, hee, hee!) early in the spring to explore the FINEST vinyards. We stayed in the MOST FABULOUS BED AND BREAKFAST, The suite was AMAZING – they stomped fresh grapes for us bedside every morning. After that whirlwind trip, it became obvious that we should go to ITALY to sample the finest wines one should ever hope to find. IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING MONTH OF OUR LIVES!! So great, we booked a trip to Greece for the summer, so we could explore more of Europe. EVERYONE should get the opportunity to set sail through the Isles on a yacht. That two-week trip went by in a flash. Then it was only right that we treat the children to a trip, as the are both HONOR ROLL students. This year Bob, Jr. is captain of the football team AND class president AND will finish up his foreign exchange program THIS MONTH! Claire preformed the Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy in the NY ballet’s Nutcracker. Yes we were also lucky enough to travel to the BIG APPLE for the MACY’s PARADE and a month of watching her twirl on stage.
We hope you have the merriest holiday ever!
The Asshole Family
Anyone else NOT looking so forward to opening up the holiday cards that are hitting their mailbox this month? Ugh. I feel good about my year, my family, my friends, my health. But not about communicating my personal bliss IN YOUR FACE. I’m pretty sure I irk friends enough through Facebook status updates like, “I’m pulling out my foam finger – to go to the KU game!” and “The dog just walked out of the bathroom with a maxi-pad on his paw!”. And I roll my eyes at like reports I read every hour from my own friends. But when I tear open into those red, white and green envelopes that the mailman slips [with cheer? caution? embarrassment?] into my mailbox nothing gets the eye roll like those self-indulgent no-holds barred letters.
Maybe I’m jealous. Okay, a little. Maybe it reminds me I can be a little shallow here and there. But when I reach page two of the year in review it becomes pretty obvious that when all is said and done, somebody has to position themselves as the Joneses. And that somebody just ain’t me.
So this year, I’m keeping it simple to avoid sounding stupid. Here’s a peek at our holiday ‘letter’ line by line:
2009 in 10 words or less . . .
So don’t sound stupid. Keep it simple.