In The Weeds: There’s a Food Allergy Community? Really?
People just love them some communities. I mean, they must. After my Reader’s Digest piece was picked up by both the Today show and Msnbc.com, the “food allergy community” opened up a peanut and gluten-free can of whoop ass on me. Some scolded me for not caring if their children died, others asked for a full retraction and apology to the community, and others reminded me, again, that they could die. Do you know of any other job that requires so little training but includes the burden of sudden death on your hands besides the job of waitress?
Who knew there was a food allergy community? Can you imagine the poor restaurant that is chosen for their weekly meetings? The waitress nervously approaches the chef with an order the size of the Bible with all the special notes and codes and the words “COULD DIE!!!” hand written on half the tickets.
I have dealt with a lot of food allergies in my serving career, and I care, I really do. Every case was handled with extreme care. I would go talk to the chef, who would roll his eyes and then have to stop the line and talk to every cook. I then had to stop and tell every other server, busser, and assistant to make sure not to touch any plates at table 53 without washing their hands of any and all potential allergens. She could die! Meanwhile, the restaurant is completely packed and crazy and this person has put her LIFE in my hands and I have to trust – no, SHE has to trust – that all 95 people who could possibly come in contact with her or her food will completely sanitize their hands, the silverware, the plates, and the very air she breathes of any and all peanut dust.
It’s just too much. Not for me, no. I am willing to accommodate you to the best of my abilities. But it’s too much for you, allergen sufferer, isn’t it? I mean, if you could truly die, how do you throw caution to the wind and hope that your 12 reminders have done the trick? Balls, you.
I found a YouTube channel called “Your Daily Tip” that is a video blog, a vlog if you will, from a server working in LA. He has many tips for both servers and customers that are hysterical. But this piece directed at the “food allergy community” does a much better job at saying what I’m trying to say. Caution: Copious amounts of F bombs. Not suitable for work. Or for you, mom.