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No Crocodile Tears For Tiger Woods

December 7, 2009
Elin Nordegren

Who the hell cheats on this?

This past weekend I got to see my friend Chrys, who I haven’t seen for a while.  She indicated that she hadn’t read the site in a while, and couldn’t wait to catch up to see what I had to say about the whole Tiger Woods debacle.  ”Of course you have blogged about it, right?”

I had to tell her that no, I  haven’t written about it yet.  Truth is, I have no idea how to tackle it.  I don’t feel like I can really be my typical smart-ass self.  The subject matter is just too serious.  It is not that it is Tiger, in particular, but I am really tired of a musician/politician/actor/sports figure  trotting out their dirty laundry and affairs every month or so for all the world to see.  I always feel immensely horrified for the wife, and I guess this is just the straw that broke the camel’s back, for me.

Why do these men, who have gorgeous wives and families, feel the need to cheat with whores/escorts/strippers, etc?  I don’t get it.  Tiger Wood’s wife is everyman’s dream–a Swedish bikini model, for god sakes, but he (allegedly) strayed with not one, not two, but three  or possibly more low-rent skanks.  If a Swedish bikini model can’t keep a man’s attention, what’s the regular girl to do?

Are famous men predisposed to cheat?  Is it part of the genetic makeup that causes them to be successful in the first place?  Or do they gain a sense of entitlement when they become famous, and think they should have their cake and eat it too?  Is it the chicken or the egg?  I don’t know, but I have certainly been thinking about it lately.

Our local sports columnist, Jason Whitlock, addressed the issue in The Kansas City Star yesterday.  He points out (rightfully) that the media coverage has been out of control.  He then goes on to state, “More dangerously, our coverage of Tiger’s tumultuous Thanksgiving and personal infidelity will have a dramatic, negative impact on Tiger’s pursuit of Jack Nicklaus’ record for career major championships.” (The Kansas City Star, 12-06-09)

You know what?  Tough crap.  Tiger made his own bed, he can lie in it. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, Whitlock continues.  Maybe Woods should have taken that very advice. Hey, guess what?  I don’t have to worry about that, because I didn’t sign a multi-million dollar contract saying that I will be the public spokes person for a family friendly product all the while I am banging every stripper that comes within a two foot radius.  I don’t cheat on my husband.

Whitlock claims that the ‘coverage’ of the Woods affair(s) is shameless, but I say the acts themselves were shameless.  What the hell was he (Woods)  thinking?  With the enormous public profile he has, did he really think that he would be found out?  Is he really that egotistical?  There are a huge list of men in the public eye who feel the same.  I guess they think that they will be the exception, they won’t get caught.  Just off the top of my head I can think of Mel Gibson, Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, JFK, Mark Sanford, John Edwards, Larry Craig, James McGreevey, Newt Gingrich, Eliot Spitzer, I could go on, and on and on.

How many times have we seen this happen in just the last year.  (Insert person here) shows up at a press conference with stoic wife by his cheating side, and apologizes for hurting his wife and family.  You know what?  They are not sorry for cheating.  They are sorry they are caught.

I am not a psychologist, but I found an article in The Wichita Examiner called 14 Reasons Why Tiger Woods and Other Rich and Famous Men Cheat.   It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out a few of them-sense of entitlement, sense of superiority, ego embellishment, etc.

I am aware that women cheat too,  so I am not calling out men, but you have to admit we see more famous men commit public indiscretions than females.  Forgive me if I don’t shed any tears if Tiger doesn’t break more records.  If he wasn’t stupid enough to screw fame whores none of this would have happened.

I hope his embarrassed wife Elin Nordegren takes the money and runs, far away from this pathetic man.  We all know that the public has a short term memory (think Kobe Bryant) and he will be back to earning his endorsement millions in no time.


2 Responses to “ No Crocodile Tears For Tiger Woods ”

  1. Mr. Smarty Pants on December 7, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Good post Shannon. I almost wrote a piece about Tiger. I was gonna call it, “Fuck You Tiger”. Not because I’m pissed about what he did, not that I think I have some moral leverage on him, and have therefore earned the right to wag my finger at him indignantly, and not because I’m concerned about Elin or his kids. I figure they’ll be fine. No, I was pissed because Tiger got me in trouble with *my* wife!

    The news is on, I’m strumming my guitar (oblivious to the news), and the Mrs says, “So what the hell? Why’d he do it?”

    Two things happen at very nearly the same instant: (1) I realize that I am not, in fact, Dave Grohl singing “Times Like These” (acoustic) to a packed crowd of hundreds of my biggest fans, and (2) that my wife is scowling at me, arms folded, expecting an answer.

    Seriously. Why the hell should *I* have to take shit because *Tiger* fucked up? But there I was, taking heat for it, and trying to come up with an acceptable answer that would put the heat back on him, and let me get back to my concert.

    “I dunno honey? Maybe..I dunno…people do stupid shit. Who knows why people do stupid shit like that? I dunno? He fucked up.”

    [internal voice: "Fuck you Tiger!]

    But you’re right when you say, “If a Swedish bikini model can’t keep a man’s attention, what’s the regular girl to do?” THAT is precisely why *I* was catching shit for *Tiger’s* indiscretions.


    Thank god my wife is WAY hotter than Elin, for if she wasn’t, I’m afraid I’d still be trying to explain why men with beautiful wives feel the need to stray.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna close out this show with a kick-ass cover of “Just Breathe”. Get out the cell-phones & lighters, and sing along if you know the words. ;)

  2. Nat on December 7, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Should note that Shannon and I get into a nice little debate about this during the latest podcast @ around the 17:27 mark