In The Weeds: Look Grandma! I’m Famous!
My grandma called my parents yesterday from her doctor’s waiting room in Florida and said she was reading the Reader’s Digest and saw my name in it. She wanted to know if it was really me they were talking about. My name is kind of unique. Being that Reader’s Digest is the People Magazine for senior citizens, she was impressed.
But before we get to all that, I have to confess a few things to you today. We’ve been seeing each other for a while now, and I feel it’s time. I can trust you. So humor me with a little therapy session, won’t you?
Okay. Well, the first thing is that my recurring dream is back. No, not the one where all my teeth crumble and fall out and I am almost to the end of a college semester but have forgotten to attend class and can’t find the building to take the final exam. The other one. The one where I dream that I am working at The Capital Grille again. I’m there, I’m working, I’m laughing with my co-workers, I’m talking to guests, I’m making money, and I’m doing it all on the sly.
Within a week of being fired (back story here), I started dreaming that I was still working at The Capital Grille but without my boss’s knowledge. I would approach a table, take a drink order and start to tell them about the features when another server would whisper “Here he comes!” and I would dart around the corner clutching my server book tightly to my chest while waiting for him to pass, and then I would come back to the table to complete the order. It’s so hilarious to imagine in real life, but it’s deadly serious business in the dream.
The dream went away for a few months, but now it’s back with gusto. After a spirited Thanksgiving at my mom’s farm, where I enjoyed several root beers spiked with Stoli Vanilla that my husband had to mix in the back seat of our car (Baptist parents if you recall), I went to bed happy and content. It was a classic holiday really. My step dad even called my husband a “Palin-Hater.” I told you, classic! But that night under the influence of diet A&W and tryptophan, I had the dream again. Only this time, my boss had invited me back. I delivered martinis, opened wine, made sweeping gestures as I put steaks in front of eager guests with no anxiety, and my boss was smiling and chatting with me. Just like old times. After waking, it took me an entire day to shake the dream. I was truly disappointed that it wasn’t real.
What does this mean? Several things, I think. First, it means I’m a total lame-o. It’s a job. A serving job. Let it go already. Second, I believe the new version of the recurring dream was sparked by the holidays. The holidays were the best time to work at The Capital Grille. Not only was the money amazing, there was just a special feeling in air from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve. The holiday spirit is what it was. Lastly, I really do miss the job and the people. And I’m a total lame-o. (Side note: I know from our site tracker that corporate people, the regional manager, and the GM keep track of this blog. So I will speak to you directly here with two words. Peer Review. Is there a statute of limitations on that?)
Alright, confession number two. I wanted to tell you about my Reader’s Digest article, but it uses my real name. So, I have to tell you my real name. And since I don’t think that I’ll be getting my job back or working in the serving industry anytime soon, here it is. Charity Ohlund. My name is Charity. And I’m a blogging addict. “Hello Charity.”
So here is a link to the full article, written by Michelle Crouch entitled 30 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You. They reprinted my “Surefire Stereotypes” column as a sidebar, AND the article was featured on The Today Show yesterday. A Reader’s Digest article and a third-hour time filler on the Today Show? My grandma is beaming.