Game Night For The Morally Corrupt Lady
Game night! What do girls do when they have a bottle of wine, an appetite,
and very little religion?
F**k. Marry. Kill.
Meet me. A happily married mom of two. Great life, easy hairdo, cool Jeep – I’ve got all that. I get out – but not so much out on the town – so my friends and I are often left to while away a few hours making our own fun outside of playdates. A few months ago, after catching up on kindergarten milestones and celebrity gossip, someone suggested we play a game. One that challenges our minds. And requires another glass or two of wine. Maybe you’ve heard of it [Winkipedia has]: F**k. Marry. Kill.
Per Winkipedia: F**k, Marry, Kill (sometimes abbreviated FMK) is a forced choice game in which the player(s) are asked to assign a given group of three people into which ones they would like to have sex with, wed or murder respectively, and to explain why. The group most often consists of objects of the players’ sexual interest.
Suddenly we were tripping over each other’s sentences. No one could get a word in edgewise. Everyone’s threebies were rolling off their tongue, spewing out all their wanna-be sexploits. If you’re wondering, mine are as follows:
F**k: Johnny Depp
My husband is tall, dark and handsome. So why do I find myself passionate about someone as petite as Depp? Because everything about him is sexy. Undoubtably sexy. His eyes, lips, mouth – oh hell, even his head, shoulders, knees and toes. His dulcet tones – that voice both in speech and song [have you seen Sweeny Todd?] It’s no secret among friends that I wouldn’t kick him out of my bed for eating crackers.
Marry: Ryan Reynolds
Assuming by marry, you mean in bliss, choosing someone you can get – and play – along with Reynolds fits the bill. I’m a fan from his “Two Guys, a Girl, & a Pizza Place” days. I can imagine myself regaling as we reminice about our good times, laughing at each others’ jokes, doing my delicates on his washboard abs [that is not an euphamism]. All the while oogling my handsome Hollywood husband.
Kill: Robert Downey, Jr.
My Less Than Zero Downey lust from ’87 has the propensity to turn into a crime of passion, so I could definitely see myself going in for the kill. But only after, well, you know. So does he count double? So what.
Will you dare share yours?