Crabby Girlz ‘Scopes Of The Week
Dance like no one’s watching. But keep your clothes on, because some freak just might be.
Taurus [April 20-May 20]
Tired of a friend bending your ear? Bend your elbow and it will drown them out – and your sorrows.
Gemini [May 21-June 20]
Sieze the day! And while you’re at it, sieze a pair of new shoes. Strappy ones.
Cancer [June 21-July 22]
Get that monkey off your back. Their nit-picking is about to drive you ape. A banana daquari might do the trick.
Leo [July 23-Aug 22]
There’s a twinkle in your eye. But a twitch in the other. Ain’t life a bitch?
Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
Keep your chin up this week. Great. Now throw back that shot of tequila.
Libra [Sept 23-Oct 22]
Think the grass is greener on the other side? Fork their yard. Now who’s living the life? You, baby.
Scorpio [Oct 23-Nov 21]
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Judge it by it’s bad hair and botox.
Sagittarius [Nov 22-Dec 21]
Better safe than sorry this week. I think you know what we mean…
Capricorn [Dec 22-Jan 19]
Honesty is the best policy. Unless a little white lie will do the trick – just don’t lay it on too thick.
Aquarius [Jan 20-Feb 18]
Don’t bite off more than you can chew – until someone sets the pumpkin pie in front of you.
Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
A picture is worth a thousand words. Better destroy that incriminating one. Quick.